Stop Shoulding All Over Yourself
We all deserve a life of joy and fulfillment, but for many of us that joy feels elusive. We've checked off all the boxes and done all the the things that the blueprint of life says should make us happy, and yet - no joy. Turns out, being happy isn't about following society's blueprint, but about creating our own blueprint for what we want out of our lives and taking action to make that happen. For us to embrace that opportunity, we first have to let go of other people prescriptions for our life choices, and build trust in our own inner compasses. That journey was hard and long for me, but it doesn't have to be. Join me as we explore and build an exciting future based on what YOU want, and how YOU feel inside, unlock a life of joy and fulfillment, and release yourself of the guilt of not enough.
Stop Shoulding All Over Yourself
From Self Care to Self Aware - Tracy Robin's Guide to Genuine Wellness
Have you ever felt like you're living in a cycle of unhealed wounds and generational trauma? Our special guest Tracy Robin joins us to discuss how a holistic approach to healing can liberate us from such patterns. Her wisdom, drawn from the practices of yoga and self-study, offers a fresh perspective on confronting the deep-seated truths within ourselves and our lineage. Together, we examine how addressing the somatic and physiological experiences can lead to profound transformation, including the role psychedelics can play in this process.
Settling for 'good enough' can be a subtle trap that snares many aspects of our lives, from relationships to personal health. I open up about my own confrontation with mediocrity and how the insidious acceptance of discomfort as the norm can prevent us from reaching our true potential. We delve into the importance of listening to our bodies, interpreting signals like fatigue and chronic pain not as mere nuisances but as calls to action towards a more balanced and fulfilling life.
As we wrap up our enriching discussion, the thread of self-empowerment and community support weaves through our narrative. I share a turning point in my life that underscores the continuous nature of healing and the importance of never walking that path alone. Tracy's vibrant presence leaves us with insights on how to connect further, fostering a sense of empowerment and community. Tune in for an episode filled with heartfelt exchanges that will inspire you to embrace self-awareness and embark on a more connected and empowered healing journey.
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http://www.stopshoulding.me
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🎵 Thank you to Karacter for allowing me to use Telepathy (2005) in my intro.
This is one of my favorite albums of all time.
👉 Check it out: https://karacter.bandcamp.com/album/karacter
hello everyone and welcome to the stop shitting all over yourself podcast. I am here today with my friend, tracy robin, who I have been trying to meet to do the podcast for a while. But, like the cosmic, the cosmic world, like had my surgery and so many things were happening. But here's why I really wanted to have Tracy on, because when we first met, the conversation that Tracy and I had was about healing and it immediately started talking about how I'd been in therapy for like 10 years, you know, many years ago and I hadn't seen any changes Like I'd worked through some stuff but I still was unhappy and I was still depressed. Changes Like I'd worked through some stuff but I still was unhappy and I was still depressed.
Speaker 1:And, tracy, you started to talk about this idea of, yeah, no, therapy is great, I support you, but there's actually a more holistic approach that's necessary to heal trauma, to heal sadness, to heal depression. And when I say heal, I don't mean recover so that you're like I'm fine, I mean just heal, so that you don't feel terrible. And I find that your approach is so beautiful and provides for so much compassion within an individual human being because it means that like, oh, we need a lot of help, not just a little bit of help. So would you mind, first of all, welcome and would you mind introducing yourself a little bit and sharing a little bit about your approach and why it is so important to you a little bit about your approach and why it is so important to you.
Speaker 2:Sure, first of all, I'm super excited we finally were able to make this happen. Oh my God, your listeners are so lucky that they get to hear you all the time. I feel honored to be here. Thank you for inviting me. Yes, we have been having multiple conversations that we've said, hey, we should have hit record on this. This could have been podcast part three. You know Part ten. So, yeah, you know.
Speaker 2:My background comes from a physiological, physiology first method, in that I started on the yoga mat, on the physical yoga mat, and evolved into becoming a yoga teacher, involved into becoming a yoga teacher trainer and very quickly aligned with the tenant of yoga, that is, svadhyaya, which is self-study. And along with that, there was this whole concept of what's happening under the skin, like what's happening inside of ourselves. How do we come into being? We come into being from this place where we're absorbing, where our parents were at the moment of conception. So all their unhealed stuff you and I have talked about this right All their unhealed stuff lands in our body cellularly, even if we don't have words for it, and and that is that is why what I do, I feel is so important because I mean like let's stop the propagation of the past wounds, please, can we please?
Speaker 1:heal Absolutely.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so, um, so, very quickly, I started to realize from my own journey and then eventually working with clients, this idea that I'm living in a recording device. There is energetics, there is mind, there is emotion. All of those things start to come into play. And when we just focus on the thoughts, we forget that this head is attached to a body.
Speaker 2:Yeah, on the thoughts, we forget that this head is attached to a body and that if we don't address, if we're only healing through what you know we talked about this, talk therapy, right, which is valuable, it is very important, but if we disregard the physiology, the part, the body, the somatics of what we're actually experiencing, it still lives in our tissues and so we've got to address that in order to fully heal and integrate Because, as you said, it doesn't just go away, like the things that happened to us or our ancestors, doesn't disappear, but it's more livable, if you will, right, and it's more. We're able to navigate more, with more ease and with more self awareness, which goes back to that Svadhyaya, which was the very first tenant, that was like for me. I was like oh, I get that, I get something about that the hard one yeah.
Speaker 2:Like looking at yourself honestly.
Speaker 1:And I think that's the hard part is looking at yourself Honestly. I know I did, uh, so I did shrooms. What was it? Maybe like a year or two ago now it's I can't really remember exactly when, but I was doing them as part of, like, I was healing through some trauma that had been repressed for many, many years, and now I'm starting to heal through it. My body had reached a stage where I was just like whoa, whoa, um, and it was chaotic and messy and dirty and um.
Speaker 1:But up until prior to that moment, I had heard a lot about what you're saying in terms of like, oh, you know, we carry the trauma of our ancestral generations within us, but I was like, you know. It's interesting because when I look back at my life, I see the things that, like, I'm totally willing to accept up until the level I'm willing to accept, and then after that, I'll poo, poo on it. So, like, I'll literally sit here and be like I'm stardust, I'm made out of stardust and I'm magic. But no, I don't hold my trauma for my grandparents. Don't be ridiculous, right, like it's bizarre. The things that you'll hold in your brain is true versus not, but as I started to heal from that. So this is. It's a very interesting thing because at some point in my healing I was like there was an awareness that happened that I think I need to look at this and it was almost like a thread that once I started pulling it, I started to see how much more I really didn't understand. And then suddenly I started to understand.
Speaker 1:Now where I'm at is like I'm like, I'm dude, I'm like literally thinking about my ancestors and like when they were in Yemen and then they were going across and like where were they and what were they doing and what was I doing? And my spirit, because I feel like we as human beings have decided I figured it out. I guess like, and at the same time we say we haven't figured it out, but I figured out enough to where I know what will help me. So I'm gonna see my therapist, I'm gonna see my dentist um, my doctor and I'm fine, I'm fine, right, see my therapist.
Speaker 1:I'm going to see my dentist, my doctor, and I'm fine, I'm fine, right, and like, and then you come to me and you tell me something like this, but my response is going to be I'm fine, right. So I'm curious to know. There's this moment like it's the razor's edge, where someone is on one side of I know what I need to heal and then the other side where they realize that the process of healing is going to take your entire life. You are never going to always know what you need. Like this is a tapestry, it's a journey right.
Speaker 1:So I'm curious to know how, what is going on in my head in that moment, Like this moment where I feel fine and I'm almost in denial. Why? Because I imagine that's where a lot of my listeners are. They're in a space where either they've already decided you're absolutely right, I bought into this ancestral trauma stuff and all of these, the holistic thing that there's so much more going on than I think. But then there's somebody who just thinks all I need is my therapist and my doctor. How do you navigate that space to help somebody? And obviously you can't make somebody believe anything that they don't want to believe, but you know what I mean. Somebody who is like you're, like I can see that you're suffering. What are some of the conversations that you have with them?
Speaker 2:So that's a really great question. The thing that comes to mind is we've been conditioned that it's good enough, right? We have the syndrome of good enough and we don't realize how good it could be. That's the first piece I would address. The second piece is that we're getting what we tolerate, right. If we are willing to tolerate, it's enough, like I'm fine, I'm good. You know, my sister will often say like it's normal operation of the vehicle. Sorry, sis, but like that's, like her little phrase. And I think to myself but it's not normal operation of the vehicle. Sorry, sis, but like that's, like her little phrase. And I think to myself but it's not normal operation of the vehicle. Like if your transmission is dragging on the floor while you're driving, and just because it's been like that doesn't mean that's how it's supposed to operate, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1:How many people do you know? And I know people have literally driven that way for a long time it's a lot.
Speaker 2:And then I also hear a lot of I've tried everything. And then, really, but have you tried everything? And then you start to list stuff. Yeah, so have I. I've tried all the things, and it happens in different categories of our life. Right, I've tried all the things in the relationship department. I've tried all the things in the career department. I've tried all the things in the weight loss department. That's a big one. Right, I've done all the things.
Speaker 2:None of it works for me, it's not meant for me, and we convince ourselves that we're not worth it or it's too hard, it's going to take a lot of time, you know, but we could live the same day over and over again for 75, 80, 90 years, or we can choose to be the best version of ourselves in every single moment and do what we can to make the most of the life that we've been given. Right, because it's a gift, it's a real gift, and I think that getting stuck in this is all I need at some point. At some point, I think there's an awakening because it happened to me too where I'm just like this is not negotiable anymore. I am not willing to go to the point where this becomes dis-ease that now is taking over my life.
Speaker 2:And I say that word dis-ease, because that can translate into a lot of different things where it's imbalance or challenges in our life that we're dealing with. But when it starts with physiology first, a lot of these things that are happening like, let's give an example of, like, stressful career If you have a stressful job, it can turn into physical, actual ailment that you need medication and surgery for and hospitalization, like whether it's a mental health issue or an actual physiological issue, and I don't think that we realize that it is connected. You can't separate. I'm going to go to therapy and and I'm going to eat trash every day.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they you.
Speaker 2:It doesn't. It doesn't get you as far as fast. It's like carrying how do I want to say this? It's like carrying an anvil on your back all day.
Speaker 1:Oh, my God, absolutely the way I describe it is almost like you have a wound, that somebody is like constantly coming in and like just scratching it open and pouring salt on it and you're like, okay, it's going to heal up overnight. Now I'm going to come and scratch on it and like, do the same thing, and it's just. You know, and I think that what you're describing is like I know, and myself I've been this person multiple times in my life, and I know people who are, at various times in their life, been this person where you find yourself tired all the time. You're literally going to bed early, you know. You're like literally your whole day is you looking forward to getting into bed, and then you dread the next day and then you get up and you're like I can't do today and this sort of just becomes life.
Speaker 1:Right, no-transcript, I mean like six to eight months, so not quick enough to where I'm like, oh, I figured it out about right, takes you out six to eight months to realize, oh, this is not healthy or not good or whatever it is Right. But the first time around it comes as a shock because this is just how you think life is. So I would like so, for since many of my listeners and my friends are all people who are in a job I mean anyone for whom this would be relevant are either in a job or relationship or something where, like, years have passed and they've just been living it. What are some of the physical feelings or emotional feelings that somebody should be looking out for? I don't want to say the word should, but may want to be looking out for. That's a sign that you may not be prioritizing yourself or your own emotional, mental health or spiritual wellbeing.
Speaker 2:Amazing question. Amazing question. So it starts with physical body. That's always my first indicator. I always look to what am I feeling? You'll have often there's weight gain or weight loss. There's fatigue, like the fatigue. There's listlessness, like I don't really want to. It's like same shit different day, you know Brain fog, lack of clarity, stress, anxiety, those types of things, physiological things, digestive issues is a huge one Headaches, blaring headaches, physical pain, any sort of physical pain and discomfort is an indicator that something bigger and deeper is happening, either on a physiological, biological level or on a mental, emotional, spiritual level. It is impossible for it to be separated right. So this is like your indicator lights right.
Speaker 2:Oh, I have chronic fatigue, I have chronic headaches. Right, it's like the gas lights going on, like the gas gauge on your car is going hello, stop for gas.
Speaker 1:Like hello, get a good night's sleep.
Speaker 2:I'm fine, I'm fine, I don't need gas, it's good exactly, putt putt, putt putt. Oh, now I have to push the car.
Speaker 1:I mean I can't believe I have to fucking push the car. How did?
Speaker 2:this happen. But I mean I, I honestly. I often talk about this in terms of vehicles because people understand they drive. Many people drive cars. Right, we drive cars. We need to make sure the engine is in place, all the electronics are working properly, we need to make sure there's fuel in the tank. We need to make sure that there is a GPS system so we know where the hell we're going.
Speaker 2:And a lot of times people just we like make sure we know where we're going if we're going on some sort of trip, but we don't think about that on a day-to-day basis of have I put fuel in my tank? What kind of food did I eat this morning? Did I start my day consuming inspirational literature? Or did I start my day scrolling on TikTok and looking for things that are really poison to me, like these are? These are simple things and ha, and those patterns, those habits, if you're starting to see physiological, emotional, mental strain, those are like blaring indicator lights of pay attention to me is what your body is saying. Your body, your being is saying please pay attention to me, I need help. And that doesn't mean it's like everything in life has to stop immediately right Because that's not realistic.
Speaker 2:But how can you reprioritize self-care? And I hate talking about it like that, because a lot of people I will say self-care and their eyes roll.
Speaker 1:Well, because self-care is like. Well, there's two things. One is, if you don't make time right now, like your body is going to just shut you down Right, so like, eventually your body will shut you down to where? So, like you know, you just said you don't have to stop everything, but your body may do that for you and it has done that for me.
Speaker 1:Uh, absolutely, and then um, uh, and then self-care. You know, I think one of the problems is like a massage is self-care, right, but like I, what I? I actually went on to my training. One of the things that I talk about is phantom working, where it's like I talk about I'm really all about clocking out at five. So like you pick your hours and you clock out now, five o'clock is the time that I pick, but like anybody, you pick your time and then you clock out. But I don't mean you clock out and then you phantom work, right, like so now I'm doing the dishes, but I'm actually working in my head and I'm thinking about this dark conversation and so on. So basically you're working all into the night. Sometimes you're even trying to sleep. You wake up at two o'clock in the morning and you can't get back to sleep because you're so stressed out about work. Right, those are all oh.
Speaker 1:Another sign is one where you can't take enjoyment, like what's funny is I started to realize that, like I was like, oh, you know what, I don't really like any foods that I like. So I tried to solve that problem. Then there were hobbies that I was like I'm just not interested in my hobbies anymore, and then I tried to solve that problem, but I didn't understand that. Wait a minute, there is a. You're just don't do a massage, or I'll go do this. But I feel like when you're talking about self-care right now, what you're talking about is something a little bit more consistent, a little bit more intentional and long-term. That is more like a healing system as opposed to simply like doing a thing.
Speaker 2:Well, what you said was so brilliant. Like you know, if you don't make time for wellness, you're going to have to make time for illness. Yeah, that's basic bottom line, and I think that people put it off until they can't put it off anymore. And I'm really about, like longevity, and not just having a longer life, but having a greater health span, and if we're not able to enjoy those longer years, then people don't really want to get sick and old. We want to have more years in our life, right? Well, maybe not have to invest as much money to do that.
Speaker 1:I know, but I'm just saying I look at that woman, I'm like you're fucking 12 still. I know I don't actually want to live to be more, but I'm just saying like I look at that woman, I'm like you're fucking 12 still like Jesus Christ. I know I don't actually want to look like Demi Moore, but that's too much work, too much. I do not like. Maybe I'll just go with Helen Mirren. Oh my God, helen Mirren is so gorgeous.
Speaker 2:Total class, total class. But what you're saying is true there needs to be a commitment, a non-negotiable commitment, and this is hard for people to do, I'm not saying that. But once you make the decision, then, as you take little baby steps towards that, habits will begin to stack, mindset begins to change and all of a sudden, where you are is not where you were eight months ago. It happens because it's cumulative, right? It's like each thing you do consistently, adding onto that, no matter how imperfect it feels at the at the start, because it always is imperfect, there's no perfection. And the moment we can realize that each day you're taking a baby step towards that betterment of your situation, it accumulates, right, it's compound interest.
Speaker 2:You don't go to the dentist and just floss your teeth the night before you go to the dentist and suddenly you have good hygiene. You have to floss on a regular basis, consistently, all the six months and more before you go to the dentist, and then consistently do it again and again, and again. And there are things that we all do on a regular basis, right, we have mantras that we say to ourselves all the time. But are they positive or are they negative? Are your habits that you're doing on a regular basis? Are you making easy habits hard or hard habits hard, bad habits easy? And I think when we swap that out it changes everything. I don't know if I answered your question, sorry, I kind of went off on a tangent.
Speaker 1:I want to figure out where I want to go down with that Because, like there's the challenge. I think that you mentioned a few things in there. One of the things that you mentioned was about, you know, health and longevity and healthiness, and you know I'm not the healthiest person on the planet, which is totally fine, but, um, I think that you did putting it like. That's where I want to kind of focus, because a long time ago and you and I talked about this at our first meeting when I I was really angry at a doctor like I really angry now I was rightfully angry at him. He was at, I was in an ER. He completely dismissed me and was like you should calm down for my blood pressure, which obviously that's not going to help my blood pressure. So, like I mean, we're not, we're talking misogynist doctor, not pleasant.
Speaker 1:However, I went to another doctor after that who was supposed to do my PCP and honestly, that person was useless too. Like I mean, and they were fine in that, like they were there, but like they just they kept saying I can't help you, I can't help you, I can't help you, right, and I, you know I went through as a chronically ill person. I've had that happen a couple of times. So when that happens, typically I'm disheartened, depressed, you know, and then I just give up on my health for a couple of years, and then spiritual work, some coaching, so on and so forth. So I was in a different headspace and I realized that I had been expecting my doctors, my health care professionals, people in my life, to be the people in charge of my health, right, and for them to do all the things. And what I realized is like I am a holistic engine, I'm a car, I'm like there's nobody who's going to be an expert in me other than myself, and so I have to be that CEO.
Speaker 1:So what I'd like to ask you related to like your work that you do, because when you and I talked, you know, one of the things that you talked about is this is not a concept with which any of us are familiar. Nobody teaches you this growing up Like you. In fact, I would argue that we were taught this growing up probably generations ago, but it has been erased out of culturally and colonially erased out of us and patriarchically. So um, the question that I would have then is I come to you and I am like everything's falling apart.
Speaker 1:I have fibromyalgia, I'm depressed, all these things are happening, right, and let's assume for the moment that I've already taken like at this point. Actually, let's assume that I haven't seen a doctor right in ages. So I'm coming to you with all these ailments and now you're like, okay, let's figure out who you need to see. So can you tell me a little bit about what role you play for me, coming in as somebody who is in pain and suffering and just has no idea what to do? Like, help me, obi-wan Kenobi, what do I?
Speaker 2:do? What would you be guiding?
Speaker 1:someone on.
Speaker 2:So the very first thing I look at is what you're eating. The very first thing I do because food is our fuel, right? So if you're putting in shitty fuel, you're going to get shitty results. So the very first thing we would look at aside from the fact that I'd say, okay, what's going on? Tell me the things that are happening, then I can start to see patterns like fibromyalgia can be lack of movement in the body, right Are you? What is your digestion Like? We talk about what your food combinations are? Most of our diseases I would, I would, I would venture to say 80 to 90% of dis-ease in this world, in our bodies, is caused by the food that we're eating, and especially, more and more, our food quality is worse and worse.
Speaker 1:So all over the place are showing that we're eating, and especially, more and more, our food quality is worse and worse, oh my God. Studies all over the place are showing that, basically, we're eating cardboard crap.
Speaker 2:Yeah, with plastic in it, so like there's it's just it's delicious and crunchy.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so, yeah. So there, that's the very first thing I always look at. I look at what are you? What are you if you're on medication? If you're not on medications, I look at are you supplementing? What are your supplements Like? Usually I'd go through folks. I never try like.
Speaker 2:I used to be the person who was like let's put you on a detox, let's cleanse your body right away, but sometimes people are not even there yet. We need to make sure you have the proper vitamins and nutrients and energy to actually get through a cleanse properly. Otherwise you can make it worse before it gets better. And I became much gentler when I became gentler with myself because I was really being vigorous with myself around cleansing and actually I had extinguished my digestive fire and realized that I needed a different approach. And so when I started to really incorporate the Ayurveda of yoga with the dietary guidelines that I use to help reduce inflammation, inflammation is the key piece that we're looking for.
Speaker 2:All of these things that we talk about, like headaches, indigestion, stress a lot of the chronic conditions that we have are caused by a gut issue, which often starts with inflammation. So that's usually where I start and then from there we go into like let's get you internally, let's find a balance for you, and we start, and it takes time. I think people need to understand this too. When you said this before, like this is there is no magic pill. Yeah, there is no magic pill. It does take time. And generally to like I think it's something like 60 to 90 days to start a new habit, another 60 to 90 days for your body to get used to that habit, and then another 60 to 90 days to like have it really stick. Yeah, and and who knew that? Nobody knew that Right, and we didn't. Was something else you wanted I wanted to touch on is we've been trained to give away our power.
Speaker 2:We have been trained not to advocate for ourselves, especially in a patriarchal world. We know how that went down, but like there's a lot of giving up power. You know when I was in my reproductive years there's a lot of litigiousness in the. I'm also prenatal yoga teacher and so a lot of women were having home births because there was so much intervention in the birthing rooms, because doctors were afraid to get sued or they felt they knew best. And if you take it back even further, literally your baby was delivered, which meant you lie down. We'll do the work.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, that's a good point, like here I will.
Speaker 2:Right, taking away the fact that a woman's body is built for birthing. If that's what you choose, right. So that was a whole it just it shows up in a lot of places. All that to say, and I'm really about advocating like advocate for yourself, have agency and and surround yourself with professionals who actually will advocate for you. I have and I think I shared this story with you. I have an acupuncturist who I swear by. She saved my life countless times. Traditional Chinese medicine woman and I had been going to her pretty regularly for multiple different things which now I don't have to go to because they got repaired through the work that we did together and I remember going in for a maintenance visit and I apologized for not seeing her and her response was stop apologizing.
Speaker 2:That means I did my job right. I'm like where are those?
Speaker 1:physicians I know, right Like, where are those physicians?
Speaker 2:Right Like, I don't want to keep coming back to you. I know Well and that's the thing for me the initially the job that I hope to do with my clients, which I've seen done through my work, is, at first, yes, there's support needed, but the idea is to empower the individual to be able to fly the nest and be able to then have these things habitualized so much that they are now okay to go and do this, continue it on their own and advocate and have agency and, of course, tap back in when you need it. But because we all need to stop at the refueling station, right, right, but that idea of being empowered with the tools and the knowledge and the understanding and the self-awareness of something's happening, this needs an acupuncturist, a massage therapist, a coach. I need to go take a vacation, I need to go sleep, I need to go work out.
Speaker 2:Whatever it is, a lot of it comes from inflammation. That's one of the things. And the other thing is also the state, our energetic state. Most of us are sedentary. Most of us sit at the computer all day.
Speaker 1:You know, it's actually why I so I quit my job. And one of the reasons why I quit my job was because I realized that, like the, the structure of my life had become such that uh, you know what I was. I'm enormously privileged to be able to just do that and then just do something different, right. But part of it was because I actually feel like a lot of corporate America is structured to keep us in some of those spaces. Right, you're constantly sitting at your computer, you're constantly on Zoom in these unhealthy meetings, and this is this corporate America in general.
Speaker 1:like having gone back, I can see that the amount of pressures that corporate America exerts upon you simply by existing is actually something that is incredible and I don't even know to get out you know where I think that that's sort of where you know you need someone like you who already knows the way out, to say and so when I was in this situation five years ago or I mean now we're looking at more than five years, probably more like six years ago I remember being again totally sedentary at this point. I was, um, when we say sedentary, I literally hadn't left couch bed in weeks.
Speaker 1:And I was also depressed and but I hired a functional nutritionist because I had an anal fissure that was agonizing and this was my body basically just was like, okay, and now. So now I saw the nutritionist for I don't know, three months hardcore work. We did full detox the whole thing and I'll tell you, like I, it was aggressive and I understand why you don't do it that aggressively. But the gut man, the gut is, and what's interesting is that it's not just the gut in terms of I feel that in my mouth and my stomach and various physical things, but I lose my connection to my spirits and my like I don't know what the fuck is happening in the universe, but something cosmic is in my, is in my intestines. That is actually what allows me to connect with my spiritual universe. Actually what allows me to connect with my spiritual universe? So like, if I don't, I know that if I'm not bringing in the fuel, that I'm not connecting with my. It's weird, like I'm curious, do you talk about?
Speaker 2:that at all. Huh, yeah, it's the gut brain connection. You know, there is an absolute connection between our mind and our stomach, our gut. You know we say it's a, it's a? Um, you know, I have a gut feeling about it that type of thing. You know, our lower chakras live in our lower body and it's that's all, like those digestive, it's, uh, it's our, our sense of self is in that area.
Speaker 1:Really, oh yeah, you've just giving me a lot to think about by the way.
Speaker 2:Yeah Well, there's a whole. That's a whole. Part of the work that I do is where we work through the energetic systems in the body and we start to see, like, what's happening and where are you holding it? Because each of those areas, physiologically, there are energetic centers in your physiological body that hold different emotion and different histories and different parts of your body can get affected. So that's what I'm saying your body.
Speaker 1:I gotta ask you something. Then tell me what holds right, Like here inside. If you go straight in this spot right here and then like it's like the Iliad crest area where there's that muscle, what is held in there? Tell me my trauma today, Tase. I'm really curious, though, because it's been hurting for a while.
Speaker 2:Well, I need to know more, a little bit. But that is your second chakra region, which is all about flow in your life. It's where we hold our sexual energy. It's also the seat of guilt, like it's our pleasure zone, so it's like the guilty pleasures, so there's all sorts of things that, uh, that live in that region of the body and then lower down. So those two areas the first chakra is more about stability, security, tribal connection, community, um, grounded, so are you saying?
Speaker 1:that's where we hold our fear. Is that what you're saying? And that's like, is that what I'm supposed to be doing, because I'm telling you I'm not having any sex right now, so should I, should I have more sex? Is that like? Does that solve the problem? I don't know. I'm sure having more sex just solves the.
Speaker 2:A clinical sexologist. She's probably the person to talk to.
Speaker 1:Oh my, God, let's have her on too. I love that. I actually have been trying to get so. I had a BDSM coach for a long time. I absolutely loved her and Miss L and I wanted to get. Miss L taught me a lot but I wanted to have Miss L on but sadly that's not happening. But eventually I'll have. I'm going to have a dominatrix on.
Speaker 2:Just do like a full question of, like you know, healthy boundaries through BDSM or something like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, that's all you know, that's it's.
Speaker 2:Boundaries are a key thing too, right, like there's the like I said before, like we get what we tolerate, we have to figure out what are the boundaries that keep us safe and healthy and well, so then we can show up in the world the best version of ourselves. And, um, I really and truly believe that the signals that we're getting, those things like fatigue, the digestive issues, the sleeplessness, the weight gain, the pain, uh, chronic issues that we have those are indicator lights of something else is going on. Let's address it and I always suggest starting with the gut. I always suggest let's start with what you're eating. You know when, when I take on a new client, there's a whole introductory packet for them and the very first thing we do is log food for a week, like I need to know what is your diet look like.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:You know what are your supplements that you're taking, If any. A lot of people don't even take supplements and we think that we can get all that we need from food. I will tell you we think that we can get all that we need from food. I will tell you you cannot get all that you need from food and you cannot get all that you need from supplements. You need to have both and you need to have the proper balance of it. Otherwise we over supplement, right, you know like, and that's not good either, because that tax, that taxes our organs. So we have to find that right balance. And there was something else that you had said about the gut. We were talking about something else with the energetic centers. Yeah, oh, that area that I was saying is like the guilty pleasure.
Speaker 2:And then, right below that is our fear. Right, the demon of the first chakra is the fear Like what are we afraid of, what do we feel guilty about? And then that which is our center, like our Hara center, where our, where our stomach is, is the third chakra, which really is the seat of power, our, our own self power and our self esteem and our shame. So those those three things are a lot, of, a lot of shit sits in there. You guys like this is great.
Speaker 1:I got you on the podcast so you could basically guys, you guys. This is great. I got you on the podcast so you could basically guys. This is why I did it. I got her here because I was like listen, I need to be diagnosed and I need some help. I'll get her on my podcast and tell her my symptoms and she'll die Because everything you just said I'm like, yes, yes, this is all things that make sense to me and I need to do work on this.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, and also I mean those, those emotions that we feel cause some of the behavior, cause a lot of our behaviors and our choices and our actions and our thoughts. So there's no, like I said, you cannot separate them, it's all connected.
Speaker 2:But that's the good news, because it's all connected because how you do one thing is how you do everything. So when you start to heal one area of your life whether it's your physiology or your relationship, or your mental health or, you know, your career all things start shifting because it all starts inside of you and I that's that's like. That's where I, like, get so jazzed about the work that I do, because how you do one thing is how you do everything, and when we start in one area, it's inevitable that it starts to heal the others.
Speaker 1:You know it's interesting, I think people one you said earlier. I want to go back to something you said earlier because it does take a long time, right, like it takes a really long time. And what's interesting is I started my journey. I remember April 2018. And the reason why that I remember that date so well is because my sister and I broke up that day, like that was, we'd worked together, we'd been together, connected non-stop for 40 something or it was a 2018, so it's a long time, 42 years and then it was done and we just and our relationship is still recovered. I mean, we've recovered so much from it since then, but that was the moment where we both were in such horrible places that we had we just gave up and we now had to heal.
Speaker 1:So, when I think back to that, I started April 2018 and now here I am today, right now, like you said, these things build on each other and they compound, right, and like the first turn of the wheel, like I imagine, is the heart. I mean, when it comes to you, like, like when I went to Helena for my nutritional counseling, um, it was brutal. It was brutal because I had not done any of this work before for 42 years. And now, suddenly I'm like, okay, let's start, and it's almost like you have to, you're getting rid of, like, almost like you were telling me. You see your vehicle as an example. Let's say you haven't done an oil change or doesn't have done anything, and now you're like I'm gonna take good care of my car now. Okay, great, but the first cleanup is going to be brutal. Right, like brutal. And so I, you know, I think one of the things that you said is that it compounds.
Speaker 1:So like, okay, the first is brutal, but then it starts like you almost start to like everything feeds on something else, and now it turns from a little bit of dust to like some glitter, and then from glitter to a zircon, and then a zircon to like a diamond, and then a diamond, you know, just kind of like grows over time. Um, but you mentioned something and I'd like to touch on it is you're not healed permanently from this. Right, so like, after I've done all this work, I still might run into a situation where I feel like depressed or whatever. So like, what does this give me then in that moment? Right, so, now I've I've done all this work with you, I'm feeling better today, and now I have, I'm thrown into the mix of something terrible. What have you found has helped your clients now, in that moment where they've already done the work with you? You've sent them on their way and now they're having this moment. What does that do for them?
Speaker 2:No, because it empowers them with tools. It empowers them with tools to to cope more efficiently, more effectively, in a way that's not going to spiral them down into the abyss the way it used to, and it's a really big difference. I mean, it seems like little, tiny things that add up into being a self-empowered person who can be in the face of those things that used to knock you down, and suddenly you're like I'm dusting myself off, maybe I'm feeling blue for a day or two and I'm binge watching Netflix, but then I'm back up and I've got this. I know how to change my state, and the state, the energetic state that we're in, is key. That's the generator right, we think something else outside of us is going to motivate. We have to motivate that. We have to self-generate to change our state.
Speaker 2:However, that is whether it's through comedy, through movement, through any sort of exercise. Really, for me, it's like I could be in a foul mood and turn on a song that I just love and dance for two minutes and I'm in a different state. It doesn't have to be complicated and these aren't necessarily. Yes, it can take some time, but it doesn't have to be hard and it doesn't have to be complicated. And the reason it feels hard and complicated and I cannot stress this enough is we try to do it by ourselves, because we don't think it's okay to ask for help. We think that asking for help is weakness. We think that who's going to be able to help me? I've tried everything right? We go back to those excuses and those things just cycle over and over and over and over again and then we become the hamster on the wheel, going far, nowhere, going nowhere fast.
Speaker 1:That is so beautiful. What you just said about it being because we think we have to do it alone, because I think that is our core wound, if you think about human beings, just human beings, we're community creatures.
Speaker 2:We're wired for connection Absolutely.
Speaker 1:And we're so isolated that we're all breaking apart inside in various different ways, like in so many different ways, and what I call my four horsemen of conditioning the patriarchy, capitalism, consumerism, racism, colonialism so there's more than four have all isolated us even more to where we don't know how to be in a community, and I was actually reading an article the other day about how it's, about how many in our white culture, many of us, do not know how to build community, because it's not something that is taught and it's not something so it's very we tend to be very transactional in a lot of things, and so, you know, one of the things that I am working on myself is learning how to build a community. Like that is and I've been doing this for several years and like the kind of work that you're talking about, of self-awareness right, because you can't build a community with someone if you're not self-aware enough to know that you're just going up to that somebody to get something from them, right? So like there's, like you cannot build community without self-awareness, and so I think that like part of the work that you're doing is not just, it's about helping us all to relearn, because these ideas are not our, it's not our fault that we don't know them. It's because, again, so, systems have done that to us, and now it's we have to intentionally rearrange everything in our minds, which is very, very hard. And so I think that, like, what I hear you saying is almost like you'll be the first member of a community for somebody right.
Speaker 1:So like, let's say, somebody is suffering and they don't. They are now at that we're going to assume in this moment they're in like the worst state, where they have nothing of any of the things we've talked about, and now they literally are starting from underneath the bottom and they're saying what is my first step? The way that I'm thinking about it is, the first step is you, because you are almost like the, I will help you build the rest of your team. I will help you build your community. I will help you build your relationships, and then I'll send you off on your way, but we'll get you where you need to go. So is that sort of how you work with people, like helping them? I'm sure you work with people more along the line as well, but is that sort of how you help them?
Speaker 2:Well, you know, we're wired for connection, it's true. I think also all of those other things fall into place because the person who I really help you build the relationship with is yourself first, Because without that I mean yes, I want to say yeah, I'll help you find your community. But we attract who we're being, and if you're attracting from a place of toxicity, from a place of negative self-worth, from a place of the negative messages that you say to yourself, the self-sabotaging, all of those things, if that's what you're saying to yourself over and over again, those are your mantras, then you are attracting who you are being, because you wind up identifying with the words that you say to yourself and that identity becomes your reality, not because it's true, but because that's the filter you have chosen to put in your glasses. That's, it's true, but because that's what you, that's the filter you have chosen to put in your glasses.
Speaker 2:That's the stuff you cast Correct, so we need to change that filtration system. This is what I'm saying. I often use car examples.
Speaker 1:You're amazing. I love your analogies. They're fabulous. This is so good, like so good. It's delicious.
Speaker 2:Well, I'm glad it works because I find it simple. It's like simple to understand it right. Most people understand, like, what cars need to run, at least on the simplest level, because I'm no mechanic.
Speaker 1:Oh, my God, I know right, but I can follow your entire thing. I'm like yeah, yeah, totally, I'm with you 100%, because I understand enough about cars to know what you mean.
Speaker 2:So that's the piece like. The real work here is, yes, community, but it's really about the change of your relationship to yourself and how you relate to the world. And once we address that, everything else gets better, because you attract who you're being. You attract who you are being.
Speaker 1:You know, it's interesting because I think that for many of for many of us so guys, listen up, right, you, you may have the same issue that I do my trauma responses. Every time I learn anything, my question is how do I go out, how do I do the thing, how do I do the thing Right? And you had just now did what my coaches, therapists, like literally every um, every um healer that I have worked with has had to do exactly what you just did with me, where you turn it around and say that's all great, it's all great, but you, you are worthy of the attention just for you being you like, forget about everybody and everything else, and I think for me especially like I'm surely baring my soul here everybody for me.
Speaker 1:That is how my trauma manifests, in that I am constantly looking to make sure everybody else is okay, everything is okay. How can I learn something? I feel good, how can I go out and do that? Because as long as I because I inherently do not believe and this is just something that I'm working on is I do not believe that I have inherent worth. Right now I do believe it, but there is still. Obviously there's some core blast so deep down that rears its heads, which is why I want to go back to what you said again.
Speaker 1:The words you say to yourself are so important. So one of the things that my wife and I have been like I typically am very careful with the words I say, but we've actually been even more careful lately, like really careful to where oh God, I'm so stupid. No, do not say that Right, nope, nope, nope, you're beautiful and brilliant Even. And. And Do not say that Right, nope, nope, nope, you're beautiful and brilliant Even. And then somebody will be like oh, it's just joking around, and it's like your brain doesn't know that you're joking around. It feels it. So I think that the most important thing I just want to like reiterated and just sort of like ask you to say it again before we wrap up is how important are the words that you say to yourself.
Speaker 2:They're everything, because the words that you say create, they create what you're existing, right you. They create who you are, who you are being, how you are being, and you attract that right back to you. And so until we're able to change the vocabulary, the language, the inner world, the inner world, the outer world, can't reflect that inner world, the outer world can't reflect that. We'll look outside of ourselves to fill voids and we'll never get there. We'll work really, really hard and feel like nothing ever works. Nothing I try ever happens Right.
Speaker 1:And you've tried everything. That's where you go.
Speaker 2:I've tried everything, that's exactly right, that's exactly right.
Speaker 1:Bringing it full circle.
Speaker 2:Oh, my God, tracy, this is amazing.
Speaker 1:I am so, so glad to finally had the opportunity to record with you. Um, I am thrilled because this is some critical, critical work, that almost everything I literally every one of us needs to do at some point, uh, in order to heal. I would love to know for my audience who now is like oh my God, I love Tracy. How do I find her? How did they find you?
Speaker 2:Oh well, you are amazing. This has been so much fun. So the best way to find me is probably through my bio site, which is, I will tell you, biosite slash Tracy Robin.
Speaker 1:I will have all of her links in the show notes. Tracy, you're amazing. Is there anything that you want to share with my listeners before we leave?
Speaker 2:Keep listening. This is such amazing work that you're doing, Manasa. I am so I feel so honored to have been a guest on your podcast. Thank you for inviting me, I hope you'll invite me back. So much fun.
Speaker 1:Too bad we didn't hit record on the countless other conversations because there was so much recording our meetings so that we can pull out the things that cause we ended up like going off on like a tangent Thank you so much, guys. Go find Jason.
Speaker 2:You're like, you are a psychologist. I tell you things, you make a list. You've got special powers, though you make me scared, you make me go. But could it be?
