Stop Shoulding All Over Yourself
We all deserve a life of joy and fulfillment, but for many of us that joy feels elusive. We've checked off all the boxes and done all the the things that the blueprint of life says should make us happy, and yet - no joy. Turns out, being happy isn't about following society's blueprint, but about creating our own blueprint for what we want out of our lives and taking action to make that happen. For us to embrace that opportunity, we first have to let go of other people prescriptions for our life choices, and build trust in our own inner compasses. That journey was hard and long for me, but it doesn't have to be. Join me as we explore and build an exciting future based on what YOU want, and how YOU feel inside, unlock a life of joy and fulfillment, and release yourself of the guilt of not enough.
Stop Shoulding All Over Yourself
The Art of the Finish: Liz August on Bringing Your Vision to Fruition
Discover how Liz August, the virtual assistant with a trophy shelf, unveils the secrets behind a powerful user journey that's more than just skin deep for any business. We'll traverse the misconception that flashy websites and social media tweaks are the magic bullets for sales slumps. Instead, Liz and I dissect the transformative power of a meticulously structured customer journey—because it's the strategic trail of breadcrumbs that really leads to the golden egg of client conversion.
Strap in as we unveil the financial tightrope act that entrepreneurs often find themselves performing. I recount a story that turns the 'more hours equals more success' equation on its head, sharing how a client managed to multiply her income with a fraction of her previous working hours. We'll also tackle the temptation to throw money at overpriced solutions, advocating instead for smart, stage-appropriate investments. It's a bit like finding the perfect pair of jeans—why splurge on a designer label when the perfect fit can be found without breaking the bank?
Finally, we stir the pot on creativity, finances, and finding the right blend for a fulfilling professional journey. I'll take you through my own realizations about aligning missions with actions, revealing how it’s akin to crafting the perfect marinara sauce of work life. We also talk about the symbiotic dance between the dreamers and the doers in any thriving business. Plus, we'll share the recipe for maintaining authenticity while stirring up success. So, if you're ready to transform your business approach from a sketchy doodle to a masterpiece, Liz and I have the canvas, brushes, and colors all set for you.
CONNECT WITH ME MORE AT:
http://www.stopshoulding.me
https://www.instagram.com/minessa.konecky/
🎵 Thank you to Karacter for allowing me to use Telepathy (2005) in my intro.
This is one of my favorite albums of all time.
👉 Check it out: https://karacter.bandcamp.com/album/karacter
everybody, hi, welcome. This is Liz August, the greatest and uh, who won the. By the way, I just can't get over the Bob award. Look behind her head. She's got the Bob award there, which I just like. I see it on her website and I'm just like I. I just want to keep talking about the Bob award, um, which is best of business, by the way, but we're calling it Bob Liz, welcome.
Speaker 1:I'm so excited we finally did the thing, finally did the thing. So okay. So here's why I was. I met Liz through our friend, judy Harrington If you listen, she's been on a couple of the podcasts already and she said well, you've got to meet Liz. She's amazing, she's a great virtual assistant, she's fabulous. I'm like great. You know, I like meeting new people, like building networks. So I met Liz and here is the moment I said I wish I'd recorded this.
Speaker 1:We could go back to Sepia tone and be like and what happened was is we were talking about how you help people and you brought up the user journey and how, like every person who comes to you, or a large number, has they're going to do. They want to update their website and they want to update their social media and they want to update all this and, by and large, their problems are none of those things. Their problems are their user journey. And I so rarely, rarely hear people say things like that, where it's like, dude, you don't need to do any of this nonsense, like, forget about any of this shit.
Speaker 2:You really this is what you need to do.
Speaker 1:So I would love to like sort of just hear from you and your thoughts, like when somebody comes to you and tells you hey, I, my business and, by the way, guys, we're going to talk about this more than in the context of business is hey, I, my business sucks, nobody's buying from me. I'm going to spend money on a marketer and my website and redoing, like what is the stuff that goes through your mind, what are the things that you wish you could be like tell them, but you typically say very, very nicely, or don't tell them, or tell them in like the sweetest way to not hurt their feelings, what's like the what do you really want to be saying?
Speaker 2:here. What do I really want to say? So you up and they'll be like oh, I need a virtual assistant. I'm so stressed out, blah, blah, blah, and they come and they're like I need a new website, I need social media, I need email marketing, I need a CRM, I you know whatever, and I'm like actually no you need a user journey, and that's why, if I could like shake somebody right who came to me and they're like well, I just need you to do this one thing, it's like no, you don't.
Speaker 2:And so I have to use terms like virtual assistant or online business manager, just so people will understand what the hell it is that I do. Yeah, but virtual assistants are such a dime a dozen. You like throw a stick, you'll find one. It's fine, we're all amazing, but my biggest thing is that I attack any task with strategy first, and so when people have a strategy session with me, they're going to uncover so much in their business that the original thing that they came to, let's say, it's a website. They're going to be like oh yeah, I'm not, I'm not ready for that yet.
Speaker 2:I need to do these 20 other things that you just mentioned, and it all centers around the user journey. I call it the customer journey. Same thing, Um, but you know it all ties in. Like if you are not thinking about your first touch point with somebody and how that leads to the next touch point and how that leads to them becoming a client and then that leads to onboarding them, and then that lead, like, if you're not thinking about that, then that first step your website or your social media or however they found you, it's irrelevant.
Speaker 2:Like you can't build a website unless you know your client journey, because you need to know the first step and you can't be posting with any sort of content strategy unless you know the first touch point with you and that's the first step in the client journey. So it really like I think when people start businesses, they're excited. I work with mostly creatives and they're very excited just to serve people that they want to serve and the ways that they want to serve them. But there's so much to it to make sure that you have a successful business and it really does stop from that, from that experience, the journey. I know, I know it's so much.
Speaker 1:you know you said no, there's something that you said there that, like I think. So you talk about the touch point. So, like you have people, you know that a lot of times people will come and they'll say I need to update my website. You want the website to be beautiful and they'll say I need to update my website. You want the website to be beautiful and you talk about how you need to be able to know what, the where are you taking them once they come to your website? What do they see when they scroll down once? If they've decided to buy now, what do they do?
Speaker 1:Like, you really need to be thinking about those things right, so that you know, when you send someone to Vanessacom or simplify, simplify, mecom or whatever you're sending people to, you already know that the infrastructure you've put in place will guide them where they need to go. You don't need to be involved in like one of the things that I think that the earliest, most embarrassing lesson I ever had was with my wife when I made my first or second website. So like back in the day in 1995, so you mentioned earlier that you were, uh, 37 and I'm 47. So I was here way in the day in 1995, so you mentioned earlier that you were uh 37. I'm 47, so I was here way in the early days of the internet. Right, we're just having an internet website was enough, right, you have the website right, so you're great you decide, that's all you really need.
Speaker 2:I have 10 000 visitors today click, oh look, 10 000 and you've got like the rotating.
Speaker 1:Remember the taps, they're rotating oh my god, I loved it. I was so I remember when I started learning how to do that and, like you, go to my websites, and I mean they were assaulting your brain like it was so much we all like and I was like 10 and 96 and my dad got me a computer and I'm like coding and all that yeah, how fun that would have been around the time then. So you're also making the flashes.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, I mean, if you don't have 25 moving objects on your thing. In 96 were you really doing? You didn't really have a website.
Speaker 1:Yeah like, are you even relevant in this world? Come on but you know, now we're users, are more sophisticated and like they want to be, they need to, and they're very quick to judge. So and they don't. I don't mean judge like you suck, but you know, if I don know where to go next, I'm going to be quick to bounce off because I don't. Our attention spans have shrunk. Our tolerance for discomfort has shrunk, right. There was a time where I'd be like, oh, I don't know where to go.
Speaker 2:Right, let me figure this out. I'll figure it out. Screw this, I'm done. Peace, yeah, thing that I want.
Speaker 1:Um, and I, this doesn't. This applies more in just your website. So I'm actually so I'm going to tell you and this is, how important the user journey is, uh, and you said so much stuff that, like I'm actually sad that I have a one o'clock because I'm like damn, we're going to have a second. Okay. So here's, our episode, I know four hours later.
Speaker 1:So, I was talking to someone the other day Cause, like you said, the strategy is the key, and I no longer do any coaching or anything like that. I just meet with people for strategy sessions and then I say you need, liz, you need so-and-so Exactly.
Speaker 1:So there's one person that I talked to who, by the way, I directed to you but, um, she's local and uh, there was this day. My wife and I wanted to go to her shop and her shop is inside a smaller studio, yep. And we went and we parked across the street from where her shop is and my wife says I don't think she's here. And I was like no, she's here. And my wife's like no, I don't think she's here. And I was like no, no, she's here. And so we walk across the street. We're literally like on the same side of the block now as her thing. There's a little sandwich board outside but it says happy holidays, and I'm, and I'm walking up the stairs and it's raining and it's cold, and my wife's like she's not here. I'm like, oh my God, she's here. So she says the store is open, everything is closed. And I'm like I go in and I open the door and I said, look, the door is open. And she's like, yeah, but it's probably for the other shop. Like I don't see anything in here that would indicate that she's here. All of the things are here.
Speaker 1:And so this person and I ended up having a conversation a week or so later, cause she was having trouble finding clients. You know now that the tourist season is over and I said to her I told her this story and I said you were open. But every step of the way I had to drag my wife there. And the only reason that I dragged her in there was because I do this for a living. So I know what I'm looking for. But your average user is not going to do as much work as I did. Your average user is going to be like my wife and say, oh, I don't think she's here, I'm going to go have a drink at honey baby Right.
Speaker 2:And this and this. This hurts me. It hurts me because there are so many incredible businesses out there and they're not getting the attention or the clients that they deserve to get, and I recently discovered that my entire mission, not just in business but in life, is just to make people's atmospheres and surroundings and experiences more comfortable, and I just wish that people didn't think it was so hard to own a business. It is.
Speaker 2:I'm not saying it's not, but it's not as hard as it seems when you get the, the help, that, the support that's out there and there's ways.
Speaker 1:You know, I think part of the problem is, I think it's been overcomplicated over the years. So like, if I think now you know, to say three years ago, when I was running my coaching business, like the general philosophy was you, you know, you had you have your mailing list, there were all these things that you needed to do, and then a lot of the coaches that did trainings there's always something else that they are that you're paying them for, right, and so it's always, and so I can see. So for me, when I was first starting out, and then, of course, you know, I sort of started to just like you start to figure it out and you realize, oh, it's not that hard. I feel like the mess that we've added so much junk on top of things like, remember, you had Clubhouse and you had chatbots and you had emails, and you have this, and like in the end, all of those things sound very complicated.
Speaker 1:But the actual thing that we're doing here is hey, liz, I met you, let's talk, Right. Oh, oh, you help with this. Right, I have this problem. This is so cool, let's. And then you're walking me down the garden path to say, oh, strategy session. Yeah, oh, let's book something because you can help me with this, and but it's all about just like a normal human, like we've been having these relationships since we were children and, correct, I'm autistic, so I have trouble with relationships. But once you figure out the cadence, they're like oh, this is how it, how relationships happen. You can do the steps. So how do you feel, like that plays in when people come to you and they're like okay, well, do they ever say like that seems so simple, like I feel like I should be doing that?
Speaker 2:Yeah, Tell me more about that.
Speaker 2:I, so my strategy sessions are 60 minutes long and I mean I always freak out because I'm like crap, I just unloaded so much stuff and I feel so bad Cause I'm like I used to be a teacher. I taught a sixth, seventh and eighth grade Spanish and so I know about different learning styles and neurodivergency and I know like not everybody learns the same way. So when you word vomit all over somebody like calm the hell down, because these poor people like they're trying to keep up with you. And I'm like but somebody told me actually today one of my clients and friends on WhatsApp. She was like you're just the goddess of making people feel safe with tech stuff. And I'm like, oh, that's so sweet, it was so sweet and it's just, that's my goal is. I just want you to make. I want to make you feel safe like you.
Speaker 2:And I say you, but like most of my clients are creatives that have businesses and if they had it their way, they wouldn't even charge. They just love helping people. Oh, my God, absolutely. And I'm like, god, you just have so much just wonderful stuff to bring to the world. Like I don't want this to hurt you. I want you to feel safe and I want you to like, I want you to get money so that you realize like this is a cool thing to do, is to own your own business. Yeah, and so I just, you know, about 10 minutes into every call, someone's like oh my God, I just feel so much better and I'm like yeah, I feel like you and I have very similar calls.
Speaker 1:I do record that, because I actually tend to record them and send them the recording Cause there's no way they're able to take enough notes. I actually typically would be like don't even bother taking notes. I'm like just, it's okay, You're going to be fine, Just listen, just listen.
Speaker 1:Well, and so you know and I think that that's really the key, right Is that one is it's not as complicated as we think it is. It's been made to be overcomplicated, and I think that that's what. That's why I found what you do so alluring, in that it's not just about like you're not. It's not about oh, I have all these services that I'm offering you. It's more about okay, this is your business and this is what you actually need to be doing, so, okay. So I'm going to pull back a little bit, because I had a client once, and who, when I did these, and I'm going to ask the question differently. I'm going to tell you what happened with my client, then I'm going to ask you a different, slightly different question.
Speaker 1:So, the client I had. I basically went with her and the goal was to help her get more time in her day, not so much to make more money or that kind of thing. Right, She'd already figured out how to make money. She knew all of her shit, Her user journeys were great. Her issue was really just doing too many things. So we sat, we met and I ended up. She ended up going down to like five hours a week from like 45 or something Like it was insane.
Speaker 2:It was fabulous Right.
Speaker 1:And she gets, gets you know, comes and talks to me and says, oh, you know, I said, how are you doing? And she's like well, I feel like I'm doing something wrong and I'm like, oh my god, what's wrong are you? You know? She's like, well, I'm not working that much anymore and I'm like, oh god.
Speaker 2:I was like shit.
Speaker 1:You know, you always assume you fucked up somehow. What did I do? And then she says I said well, okay, well, hold on. I was like how much are you making what you want? She's like, actually I'm making twice what I was making before. I just feel like I should be working more. No, and I was like no. I was like that's conditioning, that's programming, that's the feeling like you should be doing something more.
Speaker 1:And so when I think about what you offer, people'm saying I need to spend $10,000 on a website. I'm going to spend, you know, $2,500 a month on a marketing person like those, or Facebook ads. Everybody wants the Facebook ads. I don't know. Please don't spend any money on Facebook ads if your user journey unless you're just going to spend money to send people and push them off a cliff Right, what have you found in these conversations in terms of the financial Cause, like if you're telling me I don't need to do these five or six things, what I'm hearing is that wait a minute, I thought I was going to have to spend $25,000 over the next year, but I only need to spend whatever it is, depending on you know what service they end up going with you or nothing because they decide, oh, I don't need to do anything.
Speaker 1:What do you typically find is the results that you get on that kind of where people have the thing, oh, I don't need to spend, what do they realize? How much money do they realize they don't need to actually be spending?
Speaker 2:Well, it's funny At my core, I'm so frugal. I was raised by financial parents, which is hilarious because I don't math. It's safer for people if I just don't math. And I was raised by two people in finance and it's just like the most, the biggest, most ironic story of my life, um. And then my mother got remarried to a guy in finance and I'm like God, just like, what is it with your number of loving people? Um? But you know, at my core, I have to save a buck and I like sometimes to my detriment, right, um? And? But it's also a great thing for my clients, because I don't want them overspending, um.
Speaker 2:It doesn't mean I don't charge my worth. I know my worth, um. But I actually ask them in the first step to working with me is filling out an application, and one of my questions is like give me a range, what are you making every month? And if it's less than $3,000, I'll have a strategy session with you. But you probably do not need my services yet. You just need my consulting. Yeah, because I I refuse for somebody to be making less than $3,000 a month. I refuse to give you my top premium website because you're not there yet.
Speaker 2:You're just, you're not there yet and and you're going to get there, but a top notch website is not the thing that we're going to focus on first for you. Um, so that's my first thing, and then the other thing is like, when you're ready and it's time to invest, I'm going to guide you to the best next step. If it's a website, then yes, I'm going to give you a kick ass website. If it's, you know, working on your services and figuring out what those are. First, I'm not a coach. My thing is tech. I work strategy in there. I'm going to refer you out to the many business coaches that I know that are going to get you there. Yeah, so, yeah, so I don't know if that answered the question entirely but the financial aspect is so hard because we, we really, I mean I told, my bookkeeper.
Speaker 2:I love her. I told my bookkeeper. I said Bridget, listen, my goal not resolution. I won't do a resolution, but my goal for 2024 is that I am not going to get my debit card out and buy another online course. Yes, $7, $17, $37.
Speaker 2:That's the sevens they're like hey all the sevens that Amy Porterfield talking about her dad sevens, damn it, amy Porterfield, and your fricking sevens Cause that gets me, and so I will. You know, targeted ads, they'll get me. And they'll be like if you buy this Trello board template, your whole life will change. And so I'm like, yes, board template, your whole life will change. And so I'm like, yes, take my 17 and I buy so many of those. And I immediately forward the receipt over to my bookkeeper. And so this poor woman, bridget, I love you so much, honey, she'll, she'll just add it, and add it, and add it to quickbooks, and at the end of the year I'm like, god, I forgot, I even bought this thing I never used it.
Speaker 1:where's my question? Did you even look at it? You bought it, you got your dopamine hit and then you're like oh, I forgot.
Speaker 2:I am ashamed to say so. I file it neatly and it's got a little. It's got a tag for is it social media or is it a Trello board, and then it I would say like six out of 10,. I actually got my money's worth because I used it. I'm not saying it's not worth the money. I'm saying I didn't freaking use it. So I told Bridget I was like I refuse to buy another one of these things, like I call it.
Speaker 1:Professional development. It's like yeah, no, no, I have a long professional development list.
Speaker 2:But I told her I refuse to buy more until I've used actually used all of the ones that I've already purchased, and we're talking like five years of purchases.
Speaker 1:So that's a lot to go Well. Some of them, you know you got to give yourself like two years because the three years before that it's like technology evolves and that's the thing is.
Speaker 2:So I what I really want to do is just take the time to weed through them and be like what's relevant, what's not relevant? Um, listen to a little bit of the videos. We've also learned over the years, and I do courses and online memberships and and um, you know, evergreen products. I set these up for people and I say, you know, we've learned a lot since COVID and we learned that it. You know the beginning of COVID. If you purchased an hour long video with a worksheet, fine, you'd do it, but now give me a five minute video and an actionable step I don't even watch videos.
Speaker 1:I will watch, I'll look at the step by step and then or I'll watch the video like three two x speed.
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly, yes, um. So yeah, I know, I went off on a wild no, no, it's great.
Speaker 1:I actually there was a. Well, I mean, we both, we both have adhd, so we're like all over the place. No, we were talking earlier. You were talking about sending people places. There was actually a flag. You said something and I was like, holy shit, this is really good, hold on, we'll come to it. We were talking about you. We were talking about all right, go back to what we were talking about before. Yeah, okay, we were talking about you bring people in and you'll coach them, you'll guide them through. Oh, so the um. You mentioned that the business doesn't have to be that hard right, Running a business doesn't have to be, oh yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I know. Okay, there's two separate things I was talking about. First was the rut. It doesn't have to be that hard, and when I'm at now in my I would call it my business, but what it really is is my life mission things that I do that are work, that are just life mission stuff. Some makes me money, some doesn't, right, but we'll call it all my business.
Speaker 1:I had an epiphany the other day. After having spent a lot of time in email, in social media and all of these places, I had this moment where I was sitting there and meditating and I was like you know what I understand now, how the things fit together and how I it doesn't. I don't feel discomfort, I actually just feel like, oh, okay, I get it and. But and now I feel like, oh, I'm doing my podcast and I'm having so much fun doing my podcast, and when the time comes for me to write the email to the pot to do the thing, it's not like a giant. Oh, yeah, yeah, right, because I understand now what I'm doing. So it has actually become easier.
Speaker 1:And I wonder how much of that is. And this goes back to where your gift is right, because, like when I was all high strung. It was so hard and I mean, it makes sense because you're all like all the time. Right Now I feel like everything is just easy and I wonder how much of what you were talking about when you say that you so you meet with these people, you do these strategy conversations. I feel like I've become business marinara sauce, so now I get it. But when somebody is first starting to work with you, they're just, you know, onions and tomatoes and basil and all of that in a bowl. I'm so hungry. Now they want to become the marinara, right, yeah, and so I feel like that's almost sort of what you do is like you work with people to help them get comfortable with, like almost like the simmering part of it, right?
Speaker 2:I did this somatic exercise recently with a group of women. I was in a coaching program and she was getting us to come into our core values and our mission right and we were really meditating on that and we worked some body work into it and so each one of us had to do a gesture with our bodies on how we feel like our mission, just kind of some way to just demonstrate our mission.
Speaker 1:Mine is this? I actually have one. Mine is this I love that. What is that? So this is it's super. It's an explosion, it's like supernova, it's like life coming out. Yes, is this? I love that? What is that? So this is it's super. It's an explosion, it's like supernova, it's like life coming out. It's like love it's stuff is coming out from within oh. I love that, so here's mine, which is both gross and titillating, depending on how you think about it. So mine is this how?
Speaker 2:interesting, and what it is is it's balloons, and all the balloons floating are my creative clients, cause you guys are all creatives and I'm pulling you down to earth, and it's not in a bad way.
Speaker 2:It's not a bad way, but it's because when you have a creative that wants to take their creativity and make it into a business, this is really the first time that they start to feel really just gross and icky about their creativity, because they're seeing everybody have these successful businesses and they're like, well, I know, I have it in me, I have the creative part, but now I got to do all this other shit and so I'm like it's okay, I'm just going to pull your balloons down and we're in it, I'm just going to, it's going to, I'm going to hold on to you and it's going to be okay, we're going to figure this out. So that was my, that was my somatic body work, but isn't that fun.
Speaker 1:I love that, and here's you know what you're. So I read this book and this actually was a huge game changer for me called a rocket fuel. Have you read that?
Speaker 2:I've heard of this. Well, it works perfectly with your somatic thing, it is perfect.
Speaker 1:So here's the thing about rocket fuel. Okay, you can read an article about it and get what you need. Don't read the whole book, I'm just gonna that's how I got to high school.
Speaker 1:Come on cliff notes yeah, cliff notes, so, um, okay. So when I was in high school, we didn't have the internet, nor did we have cliff notes, so I had to actually read all the fucking books, okay. So, um, this is a sorrow of my life, I actually had to read catcher in the rye, um, which I really hated that book, but at any rate um uh. I. Is it one of your favorites? No, not favorites.
Speaker 1:So, um, uh, it's really. It talks about the two different roles that are necessary in any business and how, as you start to scale up, you run into a challenge. So it's interesting that you put that cap of 3000 where you said, okay, at 3000, you don't need me, you need a strategy call to figure out what are your steps. And then um, and then uh, at that point, when you scale to a certain point, um, you need two separate people and you need the integrator and you need the visionary. Yes, visionary is the creative person who is up here doing all the woo right, and then the integrator is the person who does the tactical, step-by-step stuff, operationalizing the vision. Because and he talks about it in the book you cannot move from this to this without feeling. We all know what it feels like it's discomfort, it feels like you're stuck. It actually is not healthy, it's not good. So you need those two people.
Speaker 2:And this is funny because I do use the term integrator in my marketing. Well, there you go.
Speaker 1:Yeah, check out an article about rocket fuel. Oh, I love this, that's. And so you are like that necessary step. And so for me, I got to the point where I realized I wanted to do it all on my own, like not because I wanted to do everything myself, but because the vision that I had and the person that I am makes it so that I actually don't like working with other people. I've figured that out about myself. But that meant I could only scale to a certain point, or I could only do something. Like you, when you, when you make a decision not to hire somebody, you are deciding not to scale to a certain level.
Speaker 1:You're just plateauing and that's fine, if that's what you want, that works. But if you're trying to grow and also not get somebody like Liz, then you have two competing priorities and you're always going to feel attention. You're never going to see the success because those are at odds with each other, inherently Right. So you've got to know.
Speaker 2:It's funny too, because the way that I do my business is because I'm a business owner at the end of the day, and I just kind of think to myself, what do I need? And then I go and I give that to other people. Um, and it got to the point about, oh God, three years ago I was doing I had like 25 clients and it was just me and I'm like, oh Jesus, I'm like you're an idiot. It's like the cobbler son has no shoes. I'm sitting here preaching to people, delegate, delegate, delegate, and I'm not. I'm here working. I, during COVID, I was working 16, 18 hour days. Um, I actually had to go out and invest in a really fancy office chair because I be, I have chronic pain and my body just sitting that much, oh God.
Speaker 1:Oh, my God.
Speaker 2:It was. Thank God chiropractor was open during COVID because it was like, oh my God, this is literally the worst possible thing that I could have been doing to my body and, um, yeah, so you know, it's just you. Like you said, you're going to, you're going to plateau. If you're not, if you're, if you think you can do it all yourself, I promise you that you will quickly burn out and that's where you're going to start saying this is too hard.
Speaker 2:And that's where you're going to start saying I'm not cut out for this and the shooting and the shooting and the shooting and the and uh. And those are the people that I want to get the most, cause I'm like guys, I am right here and it's so funny, cause I have recurring clients. I have clients that I'll do a project from. They'll go on their merry way. They'll come back six months later. Can we do this now? Yes, we will. Three years later I'll have people call me and they'll be like hey.
Speaker 2:So remember that thing you said not to do. I did it. I did that thing. I said I'll do it myself. And now I'm cranky and I'm a bitch on wheels and I hate everything. And I just woke up this morning and I said why didn't I just call Liz? Why didn't I just call Liz? And, and that's what ends up happening is because you know, we all entrepreneurs, solopreneur, we we get this idea in our head that like it's all me and I'm going to make this work, and it's like you don't actually have to do that.
Speaker 1:And that's the thing right you have. You don't have to do it all yourself, like and I think that's really important, right? Cause I earlier said that, yeah, I kind of do this stuff, but this is what I did for a living for like 10, 15 years. I really enjoyed it, and I found that I was irritated by handing things off to other people because nobody was doing the things like. I had a vision, right, and I realized that what I was trying to do was build a business, when what I was actually trying to do, like what I wanted to do in my soul, was be creative and just share that with the world, right, and so I realized I had there's this idea. I'm curious to know what you think about this. I got caught up in this, this idea that you need to monetize everything that you're good at.
Speaker 2:This is my toxic trait.
Speaker 1:This is my toxic trait. Oh, you try to monetize everything that you're yeah, well, because I surround myself with creatives.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so, for example, my husband uh went viral on tiktok nice. He has a following of like 89 000 people. It's a real number and, um, I'm like babe, people want to hear what you have to say. Do you know how? Many people oh no, I know where you did.
Speaker 1:I know what you did, and so I was like we must monetize.
Speaker 2:I've done this and this is my superpower and I'm like we will monetize this. And so I built him a website and I set him all up with email marketing. Did he want to monetize? No, absolutely not. Did that matter? Come on? No, absolutely not. This is me. And also like when, in our 20s, before I even became an entrepreneur, I was a teacher um, in our 20s, I just recognized what an amazing guitarist and singer and songwriter he was. And then my best friend moved in with us and he also is an amazing singer and guitar player, and I was was like you guys must form a band.
Speaker 1:And we will get all the gigs in Boston and everyone will love us. And they'll be amazing, sounds fabulous. You guys should start. You'll get someone to sign you on. Oh my God.
Speaker 2:And I wasn't even like expecting, like grandeur Right, I wasn't like you're not the next Rolling Stones, but like I was, like this is great, right, and so I. So I'm just like I'm like this is great pocket money. Guys are gonna gig and I think they did like five gigs and they're like we're all set, and I'm like no. So, yes, please tell me more about my toxic trait of monetizing. Let me tell you more about I'm Dr Connickie.
Speaker 1:let's say hello and welcome our caller today her toxic trait, so toxic trait Her toxic trait.
Speaker 1:So I but you know, but the truth is is like I think there's a couple of things. One is is there's a capitalist conditioning that we all have, which I'm working on. So this year you know we were talking earlier about money Part of what my mission is this year is to so I, one of my causes that I feel very like, I feel very like I, I feel very strongly about is loving black single mothers run by toy Smith, and so my goal is to increase how much I send to her organization every month by the end of the year, and the way that I'm getting there is by reducing the other things, because I want to be spending my money in alignment with my life mission. You're awesome, now the. The secret, I think, is that you one gotta be. You have to trust that you're good at making money right. Any person has to trust it, and I am very good at making money. Um, you, I anticipate, are also very good at making money. You just have that mind.
Speaker 2:That kind of just you may not be good with numbers, but you can see.
Speaker 1:I can do numbers either, but I can see how the river of commerce works and how all the things fit together. So I'm like, oh, okay, that's what we should do, right, and not everything's going to work, but some of the things that work make me millions of dollars and some of the things don't. It just right. But if I don't believe that I can make money doing anything, that I'm not going to feel free to say no to any idea, because every idea that pops up is going to be the last right. So the first thing was that so I had it took me about a year, lots of coaching to actually be able to say I'm really good at making money without feeling discomfort Like I just like, yeah, that makes that makes me want to cry a little.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but it's a lot of work, so much work. I saw so many coaches, therapists, you you name it to like work through that shit, right, but then'm not on this planet to be successful. I'm on this planet to live a satisfied and fulfilled life and help other people to do that. Amen For me. I realized that trying to monetize my creativity was draining all the joy out of it, and so I was like and I really wanted to do the strategy work for free. So I was like, okay, because the people who need my strategy work are the people who typically don't have the funds to be able to invest in my strategy work. So I'm like I need to rethink all of this.
Speaker 1:So I actually shut everything down and really thought to myself what do I actually want to do to make money? And I actually realized it had nothing to do with my creativity. It was something that I had actually done years ago. That I'm very good at is research administration. So I went back into research administration as a consultant, ramped that up, making about 400 grand a year life's good. And then I was like all right, now I'm just going to take the time that.
Speaker 1:I actually ended up realizing after that that I wanted to learn. I wanted I went back to corporate because I wanted to implement a training system within corporate America while also compete come dealing with all of the pressures that people deal with at in corporate Cause. Like it's really easy for me to say, do this, do this, do this, but like there are a lot of pressures happening in corporate America that prevent people from taking that action, yep, so I do. So I went back to that. So I'm doing that right now for another, maybe like six, eight months or something That'll do something else. That. So I'm doing that right now for another, maybe like six, eight months or so, and then I'll do something else. But, um, the because I can cause, when you realize you can make money doing anything, it doesn't matter, you're just like I'll do this and I'll do this and I'll do this.
Speaker 2:It's almost a sickness, it's an addiction. True, true yeah.
Speaker 1:It's right. And that is the sick. That was my sickness. My toxic trait was I can make. I felt compelled. I had to make money doing so. Form a band oh my God, I'm an artist. Let's sell my artwork. Oh my God, you know what? I'm a coach? Okay, we'll do that. I'm going to sell these templates, and this is. I burned myself out just doing that. So I got really clear on what I really wanted to do, and now I say no to anything that is outside of like my scope.
Speaker 2:Love of like my scope. I love that and like I have a very rigid scope for myself. Oh God, there's so much I want to say so, like, so. First you touched on like money mindset and almost a scarcity mindset. One of my dearest clients in the world is Lynn Twist from the Soul of Money. I don't know if you've ever heard of that book.
Speaker 1:Oh my God, oh my God, she's a also. The name is amazing.
Speaker 2:She's just oh, oh, she's just amazing. So she talks about money mindset and scarcity a lot and, um, it's funny, I'm a very, uh, practical, very logistical, very down to earth person. I would not call myself a creative. And then my creative clients immediately are like you're a liar, you're so creative. Look at what you do.
Speaker 1:And I'm like I was going to say, I was like I'm going to let you go with that. I don't get to tell you what you are.
Speaker 2:But okay, right, so again, but it's a lot of coaching right To kind of stop, um, making that my narrative and to just finally admit, like you're a goddamn creative and like, just deal with it. Um, and so it's so. All of my creative clients, I'm just like, oh my God, I surround myself with coaches, so at some points I can get a little coached out and I'm just like, yeah, money, I'm so done working on my character.
Speaker 2:I'm over it. I'm like you know, you just get to a point. It's like sometimes when I was doing I'm not doing therapy currently, but when I did do therapy, I was like God if.
Speaker 2:I talk about my childhood traumas one more time I'm going to scream. It's like you get to a point where you're like I just cannot keep working on the same thing. And sometimes I get like that with my coach clients. I love them, but it's like I just I need to take a step back for me, that money mindset and scarcity thing. And I think actually that you pointed out my next step in this work, which is like stop monetizing everything. People are not piggy banks, they're just. They're just creative people.
Speaker 1:That's the truth, right? People aren't piggy banks, right? That's one thing, right, and the other thing is is actually it's? It is an addiction, right? Because if you are good at making money, money gives you dopamine hits. Yes, neurodivergent, you're chasing dopamine?
Speaker 2:Hey, it's up for this and I just like I applaud my husband because he was just like babe, that's not me If I did coach people, I don't want to take money for it and I'm like you. But yeah, no, I get that and I love you for it. So, yeah, it's hard, it's a hard thing to break, but I will say I've created the perfect business because anybody who does want to make money, they come to me and I'm like yes, feed the addiction. That's the thing.
Speaker 1:Right, that's the key. This is my loophole. Well, that's the key, right. Get excited by other people's money. You said something shit. You were talking about um, everything I forgot.
Speaker 2:I forgot you said something I was like oh, I've got a great response, but then I totally lost it. That would be the name of my autobiography is.
Speaker 1:You said something and I don't and then I forgot yeah, me too. It's like, um, we're talking about dopamine hits, chasing after making money, and it was before that. Uh, husband, money mindset, oh oh, you were saying how you were not a creative. I want to actually share some of you. So I, up until about two years ago maybe yeah, about two years ago I used to say I have the soul of an artist but none of the talent, and I said that my whole life. I I used to paint until I was about 16 or 17, and then after that I stopped and I just I've done, I've dabbled in things, but I have never felt like the world got you right.
Speaker 2:The world, the world got me.
Speaker 1:That's exactly what happened. Like I remember when the world got me, it got me in Nepal. That was the end, um, and so when the world got me in Nepal, uh, I just I started saying I have the soul of an artist, but I'm not. But no talent. When I see what I make now, I know I have talent. Like I'm like holy shit, I have a lot of fucking talent.
Speaker 1:Like I'm very, very talented, I have a vision, but I had to change the story right, and so one of the things that my wife and I and I'm not, I realize I'm like, oh my God, this is like you're all coached out. You're like shut the fuck up, vanessa. But seriously, my wife and my sister and I have been talking a lot about the story lately is like anytime something happens, we immediately myself too we just default to this other story. It's the bad story, whatever the narrative is. And one of the things that we keep we've all been saying to each other to an annoying level at this stage is change the story right. Yes, and it's great when you're the one on this end saying hey, listen, change the story, you're a creative. When you're the one on the other end hearing change the story. You're like fuck off. Yeah, you can change your goddamn story 100%.
Speaker 2:Yeah, don't tell me what to do, and I'm a natural rebel, so I'm like fuck that.
Speaker 1:I know me too so it's like I'm just like well, okay, you want me to do the opposite of what you said?
Speaker 2:I'll do the opposite of what you said. I don't care if it destroys my life this is why I laughed when you said the catcher in the rye and I was like, oh, was it required reading in high school?
Speaker 1:I didn't read it yeah, no, it was required, and so what's funny? Actually, I failed almost everything in high school. I did really badly in high school, and I think that actually that is the challenge that a lot of um, the a lot of our clientele really run into is that these are typically creative people who were made to feel stupid in school, right, and so you're. You're overcoming that side of it as well.
Speaker 2:I have oh, I have just such a soapbox on higher education in the United States and how we push children, because a lot I mean like, if you think about, like I think about my daughter. My daughter is born in September and so when she goes to college she'll be going at 17. And she'll turn 18 very, very freshly in college. She'll be in there for a month and then she'll turn 18. Fine, but I'm like God, a 17 year old doesn't have an 18 year old 22 year old, doesn't have a freaking clue.
Speaker 2:Okay, and so we put so much pressure on these children, cause I mean, like, legally, physically, are they children?
Speaker 1:No, but they're still children.
Speaker 2:They're still children.
Speaker 1:Dude, did you know that if you're neurodivergent, your brain doesn't start fully forming until you're like 34? Correct? So I always said I don't think I finished adolescence until I was in my thirties.
Speaker 2:And then there's the male female thing, and I think, like a male brain doesn't stop maturing until, like, significantly later than a female anyway. And yes to all of this, um, and so I have this giant soapbox that I love to climb on it and probably about like every other month or so, and it's a good soapbox it is.
Speaker 2:And I just I get really upset because I know there's somebody in my life who sheds all over himself, shits all over himself constantly, because he couldn't crack it in college. I just couldn't do it. He's tried multiple times, he just kept flunking out and I just I want to hug him and squeeze him and be like babe, it's fine, like just stop it, because we're not all cut out for college and also we're not all cut out for trade school, cause that used to be the thing right Like, go to trade school.
Speaker 2:And these are your choices.
Speaker 1:Choices, I don't actually think you need to do any of those things like now, that's the story. Like that's the story again, right, capital. So my big thing, my, my heart on right now, is for the fact that I feel like we've all been conditioned by the four hundred percent of our, which is capitalism and consumerism, colonialism, racism, uh shit, I have like there's something in the patriarchy are you writing a book you?
Speaker 1:really you really should. I am, I'm writing a book, I'm writing right now and with those things come together and we write the story from that framework, right. And so the story that we've all been told is go to college, do the trade school. If you don't do that, you're stupid, you're done. Your life is over. There is something wrong with you.
Speaker 2:Right, like I'm making a judgment on you as a person and it hurts me so much because there is and I was raised in that mentality my mom, her entire career was in a college, she was a vice president, and I get it and, like education is important, I'm not shitting on education. I'm shitting on this push, this, this belief that that you, you have to do that because it is what society says you have to do. We have a family friend. She has been a waitress her entire life, her entire life from teenage to she is in her late 60s and she has figured out.
Speaker 2:I don't want to do anything else. I have no desire. I like knowing that I clock in for my shift and I clock out of my shift and it's no brain power is extended outside of this shift. It is rote memory. I pour the drinks, I serve the drinks, I pick up the food, I give the food and I make money doing it and I am fine. My family is fine. I have other things outside of waitressing that complete me as a human being and I'm just like fuck, yes, yeah.
Speaker 1:More of that, that is more of the message.
Speaker 2:And I just, I just feel terrible, for I mean, like I also shed all over myself because I'm like you, idiot. You worked your entire life, since fourth grade, to be a Spanish teacher. That was your path and you did it. You got a master's in Spanish education and you taught for 10 years. You had a decade as a teacher, a profession, a career. People martyred me, murderized me Like I'd be like on a vacation. Oh, what do you do for a living? Oh, I'm a Spanish teacher. Oh my God, always. Oh my God, you're a teacher. Bless you. You're amazing. Bless me. Now I have a really good living that I'm making over here.
Speaker 2:Bless me now as a business and tech strategist and the owner of my own company. Bless me now. I have a really good living that I'm making over here. Bless me now as a business and tech strategist and the owner of my own company.
Speaker 2:Bless me now and it's oh so. I want to write a book one day on the martyrdom of teachers because it and so like to this day. Sometimes I wake up and I'm like dipshit, like you don't know where your next money is coming from. If you lose all your clients, where's your money? Whereas with teaching you were, you were in you like you had a whole union behind you.
Speaker 1:That's an illusion. You aren't in like that's just the story we tell ourselves right, like you really are not ever secure. We just say that we are, and it made me miserable.
Speaker 2:I loved my kids.
Speaker 1:I loved my students.
Speaker 2:Um, I still like they're 26 now and they're on Facebook. I love you too, babe. What's up journalists? But like it made me miserable. It made me miserable Cause there's just so many things in it, which is an entirely different podcast. But leaving teaching was the hardest thing I've ever done because there were so many stories coming at me Like you've thrown away your entire career. You've thrown away your education.
Speaker 1:What are you going to do with this master's that you spent all this money?
Speaker 2:on yeah, um, you're never going to amount to anything because you're not using that master's and you're not using that undergrad. You're not using your 10 years of experience. You think you're going to make some money?
Speaker 1:What are you going to do when the next client doesn't come around Running?
Speaker 2:your cute little business. That's adorable. You drained your retirement account so that you could live while you're figuring this shit out Way to go. Now you don't have any retirement, liz, nice job, but this is the money mindset that I had to grow out of my next dollar.
Speaker 1:Everything you're talking about. I had to grow out of it. My next dollar is where I want my next dollar to be.
Speaker 2:I'll go call up an old client and be like hey, how about that website? Do you need another strategy? Call my next dollar is just an email away and it's not guaranteed. And the key, though, is right now.
Speaker 1:if you look at your money, you have clients right now, so your next dollar right now is probably going into like six months. So when you talk about your next, dollar.
Speaker 2:What are you really talking?
Speaker 1:about yeah, yeah. So, that's the story, right? You're telling the story as if you have no money today.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and that because that's what we do to ourselves. Meanwhile, I have clients on like year long contracts. Are you kidding me? I've got money. What are you?
Speaker 1:talking about that's, but that's why I was so important, because we we immediately jumped to that story and we accept that story. Is true, yeah, and unless you're having a conversation with someone who's gonna call you out on it, you're, you're just gonna go on that narrative. Um, okay, hold on. We are now at 12 50 and I was so earlier on I said all right so five episodes.
Speaker 2:We're going for five episodes here.
Speaker 1:Five. Well, we need a second podcast now. So the second podcast that we need is actually it's going to be born from this one, which is going to be about Liz. I'm telling you this now is going to be about when you decide to leave right, because I think this is a really powerful conversation, like when you are making that decision, because I've made that decision to leave, go back, leave, go back, right, whatever. I'd love to be able to talk about that a little more, because there's people I know who want to jump ship and start their own consulting business. Oh, my God, do it. Oh, just do it guys, just the. My answer is just do it, do not. Even the answer is yes, do it, but if you want to hear more about it, listen, I'll do another podcast.
Speaker 1:Absolutely the answer is still yes.
Speaker 2:Do you know? I get on Zoom calls. I get on Zoom calls with teachers just to convince them to leave teaching.
Speaker 1:It's so fun, that's well ultimately there's a lot of industries people need to just leave. And the reason why they need to leave is they've been doing it for so long that they are being mistreated so badly. They cannot see how they deserve more and that, but, like a lot of times, they won't leave because they feel like people are reliant on them and it's like no, you're showing them the strength. Oh my God, I'm so excited.
Speaker 1:We can't talk about that, okay. So, guys, liz is going to come back, yes, but in the moon time, liz, everybody hearing you is going to be like, oh my God, you're going to help me save time, save money.
Speaker 2:Absolutely.
Speaker 1:How do they find you, Because I don't want to just send them off to the ether. Where do they find you?
Speaker 2:I love it Simplify simplifyme and because I care about the customer journey. Every single button is going to point you to where I want you, so just click a button.
Speaker 1:It's a really good user journey. In fact. When I went to her website, I said when we met, one of the things I said was your user journey. I'm just going to say this. She said you know, I was actually thinking about updating my website and changing everything around because I think it's terrible and I'm like don't do it, do not do this. You are falling into the trap that your clients fall into. I'm glad to see that you kept the website the same, because it's very good and your user journey is spot on. Thank you.
Speaker 2:But yeah, click a button and you'll talk to me.
Speaker 1:Fabulous no-transcript.
