Stop Shoulding All Over Yourself
We all deserve a life of joy and fulfillment, but for many of us that joy feels elusive. We've checked off all the boxes and done all the the things that the blueprint of life says should make us happy, and yet - no joy. Turns out, being happy isn't about following society's blueprint, but about creating our own blueprint for what we want out of our lives and taking action to make that happen. For us to embrace that opportunity, we first have to let go of other people prescriptions for our life choices, and build trust in our own inner compasses. That journey was hard and long for me, but it doesn't have to be. Join me as we explore and build an exciting future based on what YOU want, and how YOU feel inside, unlock a life of joy and fulfillment, and release yourself of the guilt of not enough.
Stop Shoulding All Over Yourself
Networking Magic on the South Shore: A Conversation with Allison Guido
Discover networking strategies that transform apprehension into achievement with Allison Guido, CEO of Almar Building and Remodeling, in a remarkable narration of her leap from the wings to center stage within the South Shore Women's Business Network. This episode isn't just about making connections; it's a deep dive into the psychology of networking, overcoming self-doubt, and the structured approach that turns potential anxiety into business prowess. I'll share my own stories of hiding in bathrooms at networking events, and having panic attacks in parking lots!
As we unravel the intricacies of networking, Allison and I shed light on balancing the act between real-world engagements and the digital realm's networking norms. You'll grasp not only how to gear up for events with goals and talking points but also the assurance that others are just as self-engaged, often oblivious to the tiny missteps we fear. We navigate through the digital evolution of networking, emphasizing the undying need for personal connections and trust, regardless of the platform.
To cap off, we confront the challenges faced by industries like construction and remodeling, which are on the cusp of a generational cliff. Allison's strategies for injecting new life into her field are as innovative as they are necessary, combining vocational training advocacy with a fresh narrative around manual labor careers. This episode is more than just a guide; it's a celebration of building businesses anchored in community, craft, and collaboration. Join us for an enlightening discussion on how the right networking approach can lead to success and fulfillment in both your professional and personal lives.
Connect with Allison:
CONNECT WITH ME MORE AT:
http://www.stopshoulding.me
https://www.instagram.com/minessa.konecky/
🎵 Thank you to Karacter for allowing me to use Telepathy (2005) in my intro.
This is one of my favorite albums of all time.
👉 Check it out: https://karacter.bandcamp.com/album/karacter
Hey, hey and welcome. I am Vanessa Konnicki, your guide on this journey called Stop Shooting All Over Yourself. This podcast is your reminder that you have got this and you are more than enough just the way that you are. In each episode, I bring conversations with amazing individuals who have walked in your shoes. They've stepped away from what others think they should be and the choices that they're told to make, creating their unique life blueprint. These narratives are sure to motivate you, and their strategies will aid you in laying down the foundations for a life that's not just happier, but is authentically yours. If you're on YouTube, please show some love with a like or subscribe for more enriching content from Merasa TV.
Speaker 1:But for now, let's tune in to today's enlightening conversation with Alison Guido, ceo of Almor Building and Remodeling in the South Shore of Massachusetts. Now, I met her at the South Shore Women's Business Network about a year ago and I marveled at her networking chops. She was strategic and suddenly she was frickin' everywhere and, having taught marketing for so many years, I could see how brilliantly she weaved together trainings and conversations and networking events to generate business and strengthen relationships. Now the number one question I get asked is how can I find more clients, how do I grow my business and my reach? And Alison has this down pat. I am so thrilled that she joined us today to share her wisdom and her techniques for marketing, and I want you to keep a special ear out for when she starts to talk about her anxiety and social awkwardness. I would not have expected that from her, based off my experience or my outside observations of her, so I really enjoyed the opportunity to dive in and massage out some of the deeper issues that many of us have related to networking groups.
Speaker 1:All right, hello everyone and welcome to the podcast. I have a very special local friend with me here today. Alison Guido from Almar Building and Remodeling is here with us. She is a South Shore local. Alison, welcome, welcome to the podcast today. How are you doing?
Speaker 2:Great. Thank you so much for having me. I'm really excited about this.
Speaker 1:Me too, because okay, so I didn't. So here's the thing I didn't prep Alison to be like why I wanted her. I was like I just have to have you on the podcast, and I kept saying things like there's a secret reason why I want you to pass down. Here's what the reason is. Hello, alison, you are a member of the South Shore Women's Business Network and I am also a member, and I had not seen you or heard of you, or even know who you were at all up until a certain point. And then I'm going to tell you what happened.
Speaker 1:You show up at a focused chat, okay, because you had some stuff going on. You've been doing some stuff for a while. And then you come back and I see you. I see you and I'm like that person is on the cover of our website, right? So that's the first thing is that you're the cover of our website and I was like interesting. But what happened from that day onwards and this is absolutely fascinating and just joyous to watch is that you became more and more visible, more and more around, and now I know you, like like, you're a part of my life, like you're, I know Alison is just around, alison is in the South Shore. I know when to connect with you.
Speaker 1:I love that You've become such a larger part of the network, and I cannot help but think that that is intentional, that you know, that you understand the power of networking. So that's it, so that's actually what I wanted that I was so blown away by just how naturally and it may not be natural, but it feels natural on this side you seem to take to networking. So I'd love to, I'd love to get. Do you know you're a really good network, or is that something that you're like whoa?
Speaker 2:yes, so my. So I've been in the network for 20, almost 22 years.
Speaker 1:Wow, congratulations. We need to get you a plan.
Speaker 2:Thank you. I'm probably like the longest consecutive person, and so how I got into the, into networking and the network was when I first graduated from college. I was in, I took, I work in a family business and I was at a meeting with peers and the modeling industry with my dad and there was a woman from Pennsylvania who was talking about her women's networking group and my dad turned to me and was like you have to find one of those. So I so I found one. I found social women's business network and I started going to meetings and they started kind of training me and I took some of the things that they had trained us in sorority for recruitment and took those things.
Speaker 2:And I am a natural and determined, I am a spreadsheet, behind the scenes person.
Speaker 2:So it has taken a lot of practice and one of the things I learned was that it doesn't do me any good not to put myself out there. When you are in business you know one's going to promote you like you do and so if I want to make connections and I want to do more and sell more with our business, I have to be the one to put myself out there because otherwise nobody else is going to come straight to me, and so I kind of have taken that philosophy in with a lot of practice. And again, honestly, it gets easier the more you go to things because you start to see people you know right, and I've got a couple of questions that I could feel like I can ask anybody and they'll talk and think I'm interesting. So so that's kind of where I how I became a good networker is, by practice and kind of putting myself out there and I don't think I'm a great networker, but I've kind of developed a system that my high C personality fits into so that it works well.
Speaker 1:Oh, my God, okay. So, dude, you got to know this. I have in my notes, I have in there. I'm actually going to read out. It's not properly written, because I was my self. Oh, she read it. I write it. It's that it was based. Oh, it was the it was. You are very thoughtful and methodical. I saw all you need to do is look at your LinkedIn to see how thoughtful and methodical you are. So I'm curious do you apply and that's, do you apply that same philosophy to networking, which apparently you do? Yeah, so let me ask you you mentioned that you're a natural introvert, which I am as well. So I'm I don't know how where your introversion goes. So I'll ask like I'm. I'm not anymore, but when I started out, I was terrified of people like I'd walk in and I would need to, like I breathe in my car before I would go into something where we were you on the spectrum of like I, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yes, that's so. I play out the scenarios, like, if I know where we're going, like I like, okay, where's everybody going to be? Who am I going to talk to? What are the first three things I'm going to do? What's my goal?
Speaker 2:Okay, I look at the list of people who are registered for things and I go okay, I know most of these people. I want to try and meet three new people, get three new cards, something like that I kind of think about okay, what have I done recently that's interesting, that I can talk about if somebody asked me a question. So, yeah, I definitely like pull up to the place and take a beat and like, look around, like, okay, I can do this. Who's there? But again, it's, if we don't put ourselves out there and we don't try, it's not high school, like we're all coming to these things for the same reason, right, yeah, we're all looking for something. We all got out of bed and decided we were going to network today or do a one on one, because we want to engage with people, and so nobody is in this room looking for me to fail or be awkward.
Speaker 1:You know that's a really good point. I think that you know, for so many of us we're used to being, you know, I don't know that people expect us like that, but we think people expect us to fail right. Like I think there's that right and I saw me in the other day that said something like no one is thinking about you because they're just thinking about themselves and worrying about what other people are thinking about them, and like that really resonated with me very heavily and I have to admit I struggle with it because I just I don't remember that at like the key moments, you know, like when I go into a networking and I don't need that kind of tool as much anymore but when I do, I and I'm in the moment, I typically don't tend to think about the fact that you know that person's probably just more worried about what I think about them, or do I have spinach in my teeth or something like that.
Speaker 1:And like you know, you mentioned something about what are the three questions. So I'm actually curious because that's I do that as well. I I try to, depending on the time of the year or where we're at, whatever I try to have a few go to questions like being in Massachusetts. The Patriots are always a good go to at any given time of the year, so you can always, especially right now where a belly check is got to see, I can just start the conversation.
Speaker 1:I don't even watch football right now, right, but you can just that's a, that's a good one, that you can sort of start something. But then there are things like like what do you like to do? Tell me more about your business. Things where you're expressing interest in someone else, right Right To where they're, because, like, people want to belong and they want to feel like they are belonging, so okay, so I'm curious, sorry. So now you, you're joining the group, by the way. I'm actually curious what I'm talking about.
Speaker 1:So this is 20 years ago. Yeah, the internet is now. I mean, like, what are we at 2023? So that's 2000s. The internet's like pretty happening at this point, but it's not like it is now. So people were not growing that way. You didn't have that crutch that, like, people tend to fall on right now, which is the internet. I'm so curious to hear from you as terms of like you've seen both where you were running a business before and after. How has the social media and landscape, in your opinion, changed, how people network, how you feel like maybe people are succeeding less or like. I'd love to hear your thoughts on that, because you really crossed that bridge, like you were there.
Speaker 2:I think it's what I think is interesting. Is I actually legit think I found the network in the newspaper? Oh my God, I love it? I think there was an ad in the local like the ledger or the Hannah Bermayana or something like that, and I think there was like this little ad and I think I did some Googling too, or whatever it was called at the time.
Speaker 1:It's probably after I think it was like Yahoo or Ask Jeeves back then starting to date myself, aren't I, but yeah, it was.
Speaker 2:It was a different. It was definitely a different world. The way we connected outside of a meeting was different because we didn't have at the time it was still in my space world. It wasn't even a Facebook world. I remember getting on Facebook I had to have a friend who had a college email address get me an invite. So when you think about in terms of how long we've been networking is, it was a different world. But the principles are the same. Right, the things that make good networking are the connecting outside of the meeting, sending a handwritten note, but you couldn't promote yourself in the way that people do constantly now with the Facebook messages and posts and free kind of marketing. That, the way that they do it now. It was still a much different. It was a different type of thing. But the things that worked well then still work well now the one on ones, the, the personal connections, making sure that people know, like and trust you so that when they need you you're their first go to person.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know, it's so interesting you say that you know where it's like the, that these old methods still work, and I think that's because, like they're rooted in, like human nature and the things that are important to us. Because, even and I so when I taught marketing and coach and coached business, one of the things that I talked about a lot was that you're using social media to mimic the behaviors and relationship building techniques that previously were done in person, like the things that you talk about, that work. But I think at some point, like people have lost touch with that fact that that is what the social media aspect is for. It's there to build a relationships and have, like you and I have one on one on a zoom. That's great, perfect Right.
Speaker 1:That's very different for me sending you a hey girl, hey message, asking you to buy something for me, or something like that that many people use social media for. I'm curious to know, because you know social media is also very immediate and short term. You know, like, so I'm going to come up with people and just message them all right now and then message 50 more people tomorrow. It's like a bulk thing.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:But I found you know in terms of my local networking stuff that it's less immediate gratification and more like you know. I've known you now for like a year or two and someone may need a remodel in like six months and I'll send them to Almar and you'll get that contract and you'll run with it. But like the true fruit of this labor, this work didn't actually come for like three years.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I'm interested in your thoughts in terms of networking as a one time activity as opposed to like an ongoing thing, that you're really planting seeds that won't grow or sprout for a while.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's definitely. Networking is not a silver bullet, it's not a oh my goodness. Leads are down. I'm going to go to three networking events this week and then things are going to be fine. It's been 20 years and there are, and I'm still and I'm just now sometimes see like, yeah, sometimes I go to something and somebody says, oh great, I need you, but there are, it's, it's a. It's definitely a drip method, right, and if you put together a good system for capturing those people, for connecting with those people, for following up long term and educating them in what you do long term, that's where the real power of it comes from.
Speaker 2:We are going to do a job, a bathroom remodel, here in the next couple of weeks and she, the woman, is, she's becoming disabled and she needs somebody to do her bathroom, and so she called us. And then she lives alone. So she called a friend and said can you meet with me, with the contractor? I'm nervous about being there alone. And she's, the friend said, sure, who's coming? And they said, oh, alma. And the woman said I know Allison. I met her at networking event in 2019. She is fabulous.
Speaker 2:So I didn't even remember who this person, who this person was, but she actually came up. I saw her to networking ventrally thereafter and she came up and she said thank you so much, it was so great. I knew that because she called you, it would be, it would, everything would be fine. And I felt horrible because I didn't remember her. But I but I did my job, for right, I did my job as a networker because it's what, like six years later, and she remembered me, she remembered who I was as a person and that her friend calling us.
Speaker 2:She knew her friend would be taking care of and we're going to do it right and she's not going to have a problem. So part of my part of my system is I capture the, the names of people and their information and I have a spreadsheet and I, even if I don't see them at a network event, I'm still drip contacting those people either via email or postcard at intermittent points so that I stay, I stay relevant to them and I stay regular to them. So this list goes back 20 years of people who are still getting my contact information because at some point I'm going to hit them on the right day.
Speaker 1:Well, you know, it's also the thought of like. You know what I think about, because I only recently began networking sort of like actively. I learned how to. Let's see, I'm thinking prior to like 2019. I was zero, networking like zero because I was so afraid of people I wouldn't do anything. So it was not that long ago. We're talking four years. And then, oh, no wait, let's go a little bit with 2018.
Speaker 1:And then I joined a networking group. I was living in Franklin and it was a lovely networking group but, right as it, really like I was building relationships. It was so fun. And then the pandemic hit and then I moved to Plymouth and so when I came here, I was like, okay, my main goal was to get the podcast into the local community, because I know my message is important, want to get it out there and so on, and so to do that, spread the word, become popular. How do I do that? Find a networking group. So I looked for, I looked through a bunch of them, so I joined. The way that I typically do it is I've joined.
Speaker 1:Like you know, I did this in Franklin at work, and I joined like five or six and I'll not really join but like go to their guest thing or like see and then pick a short list and then ultimately I'll end up, you know, finding the one, and then it's just a matter of and the South Shore Women's Business Network. I'm curious to know what you thought there, because I use there are networking groups that I've joined in the past and just not them because it's just I can't even with it, right, and they're just like they don't give you what you need or they're too transactional focused or whatever right.
Speaker 1:But I feel like the SSWB and crack some sort of a code like they really understand. Like I have never seen something generate so much like if you put your event on the SSWBN page, it'll sell out like guaranteed, and it's like I feel like there's a reason why why you've been in this, this organization, for 20 years. So here's my question for you have you been in some organizations where you were like holy shit, this is bullshit, I am not staying here. And what was that experience like for you? And like, how did that keep you from you know? Like it's your dad's, like when you were younger, when you jumped in so you'd already had like a little bit of successes. But how did that hold you back when you're like, oh my god, I can't go to that network, I can't have another experience like that or something like that yeah, so I definitely I did the same thing.
Speaker 2:So I at one point any networking event I was invited to I went to. So I tried a ton and we were in a bunch of different groups we did. We hit some of those radio transactional ones. We hit some local ones that were trying to do mimic, the transactional ones that were not through that, that in industry ones, and I went to all of them and some of them were just painful to sit through. Some of them were like you have to bring a lead to three leads every time and it was like, oh my God, I haven't met three new people who might like fit with any of these people. And there was a lot of anxiety because it was like if you don't pass so many leads you're getting kicked out. And it was like, but I'm just going to give somebody a name for something else. It just it.
Speaker 2:Just it just did not fit with my organizational structure of my brain and what I loved about the way the social women's business was set up in over 20 years it has been, it has run the gamut of organizational systems, like at one point we had it was had a staff and had an executive director that was paid, that ran it, and then we had what the method we have now, where it's all it's, it's president and vice president and kind of all volunteer base.
Speaker 2:So I've kind of seen the gamut of the way it's been run, but at the core it always goes back to the way the founders had wanted it to be contacts, coaching, collaboration and community.
Speaker 2:And so there was always that structure in that educational piece at every meeting so that if you didn't know somebody, you were automatically going to be able to talk to somebody and share your story and hear their story.
Speaker 2:That's been across the board at every event. It's not just let's show up at a bar and walk around Because that gives me so much anxiety, like I buy myself and I don't know where to go and you have to drink, and just going to push myself into a group. So that's one of the things that I really liked about it. It made me feel comfortable because I could come in, sit at a table. There was a facilitator most of the time whose job it was to make sure that everybody got spoken to or got a chance to talk, and so that that that's part of the reason I think that the system has worked. It's been more a focus on building quality relationships that will eventually pay off and educating each other to build that each other up, as opposed to giving around a bunch of names, that of people who don't necessarily even are interested in our product.
Speaker 1:That's, I think, the heart. I love that you brought that up because I think that this idea of networking referrals right. So, like the moment, you're like you have to bring a lead, you have to bring a lead and I I've been there and that's you know. And I, again, I'm like I didn't meet three new people this year and also I feel like in some cases it's like I kind of don't want to refer you if you're forcing me to refer you, right, it's like. I know that that sounds patchy, but it's true. So I I'm more, um, what's the word? Uh, I'm more likely. That's why that's actually kind of why I switched my business model and I love the assistant again, because I just like referring people.
Speaker 1:So that's what I do. Anyone need something. I'm like I'll refer you because I know everyone. And going back to what you were saying about your systems, I'd like to talk about that a little bit because I think that the challenge that most people have is they don't have a system right. They don't know how they're going to do it, how they're going to keep in touch. You know, I also have a spreadsheet. I use the air table where I, you know, put people's names and information and as we talk I add like details, so that I don't forget.
Speaker 1:And then that way, somebody's shocked that I know that they're gone about six, six months ago and it's like, yeah, dude, I put it in my air table Like I'm not going to actually remember these things in my brain. So I'm curious for you what is like? Uh, what is your general system for you know, when you go meet, follow up, that kind of thing?
Speaker 2:So, yeah, I usually go in and, depending on the size of the event, I say, okay, I want to get three cards or meet three new people. And going back to that digital version versus old school, um, I was at an event recently and a bunch of people didn't have cards like physical cards. They're like oh, I only have, I only have um, I don't even know what they're called like virtual.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think it's called like a doctor, like they have a couple of electronic ones where you like tap your phone. Virtual cards.
Speaker 2:And I was like no, you need to have, you also need to have real cards. Still, like you still need to be able to stick your card in for drawing or have something that I can write down, because I get 1000 emails a day. Maybe, like trying to always connect through my computer isn't the best way. I need send me a bill, because otherwise you're not getting paid, because if it's an email it's definitely gonna last. I need to be able to touch you, um. So the same thing like I grab, I want to try and meet three new people, get three new cards. I jot down the notes on the card, um, I add it to my spreadsheet and then I also I send a um, I send a handwritten note to the new people that I've met and say hey, it was so great to meet you, um. Send my card again, um. And then I also go and I look them up on the on Facebook and LinkedIn and try and connect with them there, because the doing of the cons of the post is another touch to stay, to stay top of mind, but not necessarily to harass people with. So it's kind of um, like I say with my marketing plan, I still pick a little bit out of every box, and that's how I do it with networking as well.
Speaker 2:And then a lot of times, if I'm going to a networking meeting and there's somebody that is I think is super interesting or seemed a little shy, I'll send them a message and say hey, I'm going to go to this meeting. If you're interested, you can meet me there, or something like that. So, because people want to be invited too, right, they don't? When I'm at a networking event, I usually try and find the person who's standing by themselves or looking at their phone, because they desperately want somebody to come up and talk to them. For the most part, every now and then, people are really checking messages, but a lot of times it's that they're afraid and they don't know how to start the conversation.
Speaker 1:I did that. So when I was practicing you know, practicing my networking I remember I went in and I thought to myself I people always surprise one that I'm introverted and terrified of people because I seem so outgoing and it's like there's a therapy. I use a lot of therapy, like it's really a lot of it, but because I look bold, I then look, for I was like you know what? There's people here who feel worse than me. So I want to like, as long as I'm looking towards who can I help? I feel I think less about myself and I think less about my own anxieties and less about my own challenges. So I think I like that idea a lot, where it's like look for someone who is alone, because then you become the care, almost like you are giving care, rather than sitting here feeling anxious my one of the things that I do. So here's my system in terms of not meeting people. This is a system about not meeting people.
Speaker 1:So if I go to an event and I'm feeling overwhelmed because that does happen, I'm autistic I sometimes will get overwhelmed and I'm like I cannot function in this moment I'll go hide in the bathroom and I'll hide in the bathroom for like five minutes, and it's funny is that I didn't until I realized that nobody is actually checking my bathroom, visits, right, I think the bathroom like four times instead and, just like my God, people are going to think I'm so weird and there's nobody's watching me. Leave and come to the bathroom. If they are, who cares? Right. So I will go to the bathroom and just sit there, breathe in, do some meditation and honestly, like that actually a lot of times will help to reset me and I'll just go back out and then do good for another 15, 20 minutes.
Speaker 1:It doesn't always happen, but like I feel like if you need a rescue, it's good to know like what your rescue is. So I'm curious do you ever have like, do you? What is your go to if you're like, okay, I've been here for a bit and, like you suddenly start to really feel overwhelmed or sick or tired, or just like I feel, what do you do?
Speaker 2:I go and I check in with the people at the at the check-in desk. Yeah, because sometimes there's a lull there and I'll be like how's things going? Everything okay, do you guys need anything? I'm a big one that for years it was. I had the feeling that I didn't matter unless I was helping somebody. Like my purpose and people liked me because I was doing things for them. So I still kind of revert back to that. I'll go, I'll take a break, I'll walk up, especially if there's nobody at the table, and then just see like how are things going? Are we busy tonight? Anything going on? So like a lot of times that's what I'll do is I'll mosey over to where there aren't a lot of people. So if there's nobody, I mean there's a lot of people checking me and I clearly don't do that.
Speaker 2:I do not need to go and start a conversation Right and usually, and usually I know I know that person too, so it's like it's easy, like I break of a conversation.
Speaker 1:Dude, I want to come back to what you said, because so I this is a philosophy I embodied for many years and I believed it. Service is the price I pay for the space I occupy, and I did not believe that I deserve to live on this earth or be on this earth or breathe the air that anybody else breathes, unless I was doing something for someone else, because otherwise, why even exist? This is a terribly unhealthy way of thinking things, and so for many years I did exactly that. But you're absolutely right that when I find myself in like a moment where I'm like have a autistic meltdown or whatever, the first thing I'll do is go see how can I serve. So even I just said, the first thing I do when I go into business who can I serve?
Speaker 1:And I think this is me theorizing myself on my podcast is that I'm thinking to myself that there's, like that, there's a difference between doing the service so that you can justify your existence on this planet and doing the service to build relationships, make friends, make somebody feel better, that kind of thing. So I think that, like that's the thing I had to work through in therapy was like I could still do the same activities. But I'm not doing it to justify the fact that I need an access event, right Like oh, I met this event, so I'll help you.
Speaker 2:Let me clean, let me dust, let me, you know, do something, right Like so it was a lot of people weren't going to, wouldn't invite me out or talk to me if I wasn't doing something for them. So if I joined a board, it was like I have to be on, I have to have a role on the board, or nobody's going to talk to me, there's no need for me. And then I think it was. I think I was like almost 40 before I felt like I have friends who like me for me and not for what I will do for them.
Speaker 1:So I was also in my 40s, so I feel like something happens when I'm 47. Now, if you feel free sharing your age and want to walk with not all, edit this out.
Speaker 2:I'm 43. So yeah.
Speaker 1:So, dude, 40s are good times, right. 40s are like, I think, when I was also able to. Now, and even now I'm still sometimes I'll look at people and be like, oh my god, really, and I I have to think about that. Like so, as I've been recovering from surgery, I haven't been able to go to as many events and I keep thinking, my god, they're going to keep me out. Everybody just cares about you, and I think networking groups really help to deprogram that, because you really start to become build relationships with people who are invested in you as well. Right, and there's something very meaningful when you're surrounded by people who are invested in you for no other reason than you, are you like doing anything for them? You're not. I love that so much.
Speaker 2:And there's and there's an a wide range of experiences and networking groups right. So when I'm with my mom, friends the, our experiences are very similar but we're all in the similar age, so we haven't had different life experiences as vastly as an networking event. When I came into my 20s there were women in their 60s. Now I'm in the middle of the group right, there's younger women coming in and older women. So having those conversations are different than when you're surrounded by people in your peer age group.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's a really good point. And you know, and I think that like there's also that I live in, because you said you know, like when you're in your peer age group, there's almost like a comfort that's there, whereas when you're surrounded by people older than you, you almost feel like especially as socialized women, shut up and listen to the others. You know people who know what they're doing and let them talk, or like, do you really know enough to be saying something? You know, like there's a whole lot of stuff. I don't know if you brought that with you, but I definitely brought that with me in my first few networking meetings.
Speaker 2:Yeah, then we had the 30th anniversary for the gallery recently for the Social Women's Business Network and it was funny because there was this whole table of women who were in their 40s-ish when I came in my 20s and I was like, oh, those people, they know everything and then they didn't, they still don't. But it definitely was that like, oh, allison's the baby and they're the wise old people, and you start to realize that they don't know anymore than you do when you start to talk to them.
Speaker 1:You know. Okay, so this is. We're so all over the place. Now I don't even care anymore because, like, this is just so fun. So I'm curious, right? Do you think that?
Speaker 1:Like, because, like when we were younger, you know, because you and I were basically the same in fact, we're the same age as my wife so there was an element of the elders know everything and the younger you are, you don't know anything. And I just don't feel like that exists now. So I can. So funny that I feel like that the 30th anniversary of that we had was so we had people of all ages, but I feel like it was age less in the socialization, like everybody was socializing with everyone else, whereas, like, because I feel like something has happened. Maybe it's the internet, maybe it's pandemic, I don't know, but something has happened to where you don't feel like the age difference matters as much, and I think when we meet and we talk, we're all really just looking to see like, oh my God, I'm excited to get to know you. What can we learn from each other? Like, do you feel like that difference has happened over the last 20 years or so?
Speaker 2:I think that in certain areas it has. I think that in our, in the women's networking group, it has, because I think that the way we have built, the culture we have built in some of these groups, speaks to that. I think that there are some groups that don't.
Speaker 1:You're absolutely right, I guess.
Speaker 2:I think it's a cultural difference. I think that, depending on who you're with and where you're with and the type of person and the type of people who are facilitating, that's definitely true that there is something to be learned by everybody, but I think that in other groups and other organizations that it's definitely a do as you're told, not as you know what I mean, kind of situation Very diplomatically put, Nelson Impressively. I'm getting better at my old age.
Speaker 1:You're absolutely right, though, like you said that, I was like no, no, there's still that. I think that, like when we were like I enjoying being in the spaces where you know, I think it was a lot of humility for me to like pick that up. Like I didn't have that humility and I had to learn it when I was growing into the age area where I am the elder right I'm 47 hours and then I realized shit, I knew that and I was like wow, okay, this is okay and it's interesting, as in the last year or so, my biggest teachers have actually been millennials and Gen Z.
Speaker 2:And like.
Speaker 1:I'm just like blown away by how brilliant they are. But yeah, there's definitely people who are still like listen, shut up and do what I tell you and you're like but it's wrong and this is a dumb way of doing it, and they're like well, too bad.
Speaker 2:When I always try to sell my team, my ego is not so big to think that we're doing everything right or that the way that I've set it up is the way that it should be, like I'm making it up as I go along too. So if you guys have a better suggestion, let me know. That doesn't mean I'm necessarily gonna go with it, but don't feel like my ego is so big that I can't hear another idea or taught a new way to do something.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. I love that. I think that also came with age. Were you always like that or did that grow and did you grow into that?
Speaker 2:I think I've been like it for a long time because but I think I was lucky enough to come into peer networking groups in my twenties with we. Were I joined, my father was already in a peer networking group with similar remodellers from around the country who didn't compete with each other, and I was 20 and they were 40, 50, 60. And I think I was lucky enough to learn things from them at an age where most 20 year olds wouldn't have. And they kept saying, if I had been had this opportunity in my twenties, where would I be in my 40s and 60s? And so I kept trying to be very open to that, to continue to learn and grow so that I could be in a better place when I got to be their age.
Speaker 1:All right, I have two questions for you. The first question is this you were talking earlier about how there's like baby Allison and like you were young and brought this up a couple of times and I also always been in the place that I've the place I've worked. I've always been like young but overachiever and high and wow. So I'm curious, because we both went through this moment where you stopped being the young prodigy and you start being like now you're just normal. Oh no.
Speaker 2:I'm not the young prodigy anymore, I know right.
Speaker 1:So I'm curious. Oh my God, I was gonna say how did you realize that? But maybe I wasn't just really really realized that. Are you having this whole moment on camera? No, but I'm actually curious, like cause I remember when I realized, damn, I'm really good at what I do, which is great and that's awesome, but I'm not the young prodigy anymore, right, and it's like I can still be great at what I do, but now I'm 47. I figure it's like you'd expect me to be good at what I do with this white record, right? So I'm curious did I just reveal that to you, or?
Speaker 2:No, but what is interesting is that the remodeling industry is an aging industry and very often when I am in things for my industry, I am still one of the youngest people there we, I just took a class for my to renew my license my construction supervisors license and I was absolutely the youngest person in the room, which was very upsetting to me, one because I've been doing this way too long to be the youngest person in the room and two, what is going to happen to my industry if I'm the youngest person in the room like that. There's no other 20 or 30 year olds getting their license, renewing their license.
Speaker 1:That is a really, really good point. My industry is actually struggling with the exact same thing.
Speaker 1:where it's giant, we have a huge, huge group of people who are retiring out and then, or and there's not a lot of new people coming in or the new people who come in burn out and leave within two years. So, like I that's this is something that my sister and I talk about a lot as well is how do you, how do you, create enthusiasm for an industry, you know, because a lot of it's enthusiasm it's marketing. There's just so many things involved with it in order to like but yeah, I definitely get that. So there is, like you said, not being the young Ajanu is great, because that ensures the longevity of your industry. That's a really important question. I know you've got me thinking about something else, because now I'm like, oh yeah, me too.
Speaker 2:Well, what can I do to support people coming to come into our industry? That's also. That's also the hard thing you know with you. For for what I do, if you look at the VOTEC programs, a lot of times they're not direct. They're trying to direct people towards the union, and so sure, votec has a waiting list and, like we, even though there are kids who want to get into these programs, they can't get into these programs Really. So what do we do to now that there's a slight shift back away from? You gotta go to college. You gotta go to college to be successful. How do we help create this? And we live in a video game generation where kids aren't being taught how to do manual things and work with their hands. And why are things so expensive? Cause I can't get anybody to do the work. And if they do, and if I can, who's any good? First of all like I'm not gonna send somebody who's not good to your house either they want to be compensated for their experience.
Speaker 1:You are so, so right. I think that's really and I think this is a really good example, by the way, of networking happening. Right Cause, like you know, we're talking and I feel like I'm gonna connect with you about this because we have a similar challenge, similar problem that, like you, never really know how these things are gonna gonna grow out there, right, you know. So I'm actually curious because a lot of you know, one of the things that I'm doing is trying to build interest in research administration and so on, and my sister and I are building our thing on that side. You know whole separate thing on that. So I am, I am curious.
Speaker 1:So if there are people who are listening, who are either have children or people in their family who this is something that they'd like to explore, because they're like you know, because there's always people who are looking for their next thing, right, what can I do next? You know, research administration might be a call me a construction and getting certified, maybe it, and they can reach out to you. But I think that. So I'd love to hear a little bit about like, tell what, what kind of person would be, what kind of person would thrive in a space like this?
Speaker 2:I think people for for what I do is people who like to be outdoors which is kind of crazy but somebody who likes to problem solve and do math and use their brain A lot of times. A lot of times we get a bum rap in the construction industry that that carpenters are dummies. You have to be really intelligent and inquisitive to do this kind of stuff and figure out how to problem solve.
Speaker 2:We live in the Boston area. These houses are old and they were built with not to the current code. So coming up with creative ideas and being able to want to step back at the end of the day and say I've done that is huge. Our bodies are built to work in cubicles right, we're not built to sit in front of computers all day. And so the guy, the team that we have men and women who work with us who are most successful, are those people who like to do something different every day, who'd like to use their hands, who like to problem solve and have build relationships, because we are constantly building relationships with people to whether it's our homeowners or our office team or our trade partners. So there's people who like to do lots of different things. Sometimes ADD people are great for this role because you're constantly doing something different.
Speaker 1:I have ADHD, like damn. Yeah, it's nice when you're doing this is different all the time, for sure. I love that now and as we slowly start to start to wrap up. So there's a couple of things I want to share with the listeners as we start to wrap up. First is that if you I know you love Allison she's amazing reach out to her right. If you're local in the South Shore, she's one of our South Shore special features. But you know, the one thing that I want to make sure everybody knows is because you do do remodeling, can you tell my listeners and my friends, kind of, what it is that you do? I should probably start with this, but you know me, I'm all over the place. So tell us a little bit about what you do and how you help people.
Speaker 2:Sure, so my company is Alma, our building remodeling. We're out of handover and we're a third generation company. 2024 is going to be our 65th year in business and my goal is to break the contractor stereotypes through our core values of, you know, communication, education, quality and integrity. And we do everything from window and door replacements right through kitchens, bathrooms, additions, basements and new homes. So we service people by honestly, if it's anything to do with your house, trying to give you a well thought out solution at a reasonable price To make it the home of your dreams where you can live your best life. Love it, love it so much.
Speaker 1:This is fabulous. Thank you so much for honestly everything Like I have a whole long list of things I need to thank you First, being on the being on the podcast, being on the board, being you know just these two great, great and network and friend, and I'm so glad to be where they make it today. Is there any last message that you'd like to share with my list?
Speaker 2:Oh, you know what I wanted to tell you this I love the title of the podcast Stop shooting on yourself because, honestly, before we met that in one of my advisory groups, that was an exercise I had to do because I'm very like again, like I have to be doing something, I have to be serving people, and so I was challenged with the exercise of every time I thought I should, I had to sit down for 10 minutes and not do something. And so if you're that type of person, it's a very hard habit to break. Oh I should go put the laundry in, I should go do this. Oh, I should help sell one. So I had to like every time the word should popped into my head that I should be doing something and I should, I was shooting all over myself. I had to sit down for 10 minutes and reset.
Speaker 1:Wow, and now I'm curious how has that helped you?
Speaker 2:Oh my God, it like I. It took a long time to break that habit, but I definitely don't should as much as I used to. I mean, I'll add stuff to a list, but but I definitely has come to the that almost ADHD thinking in my head like, oh, this popped in my head, I should do this. Oh, I should do this, I should do that. It really definitely helped. So if you're a shooter, it's a great exercise to try.
Speaker 1:I cannot even tell you how grateful I am that you shared that story, because I'll tell you my big. So when I was at rock bottom and coming out in 2018, one of the first challenges I was given my therapist was challenge to stop saying what if? So I was what if everywhere? What if what if, what if what if whatever you know. And I said listen, I am trying to make sure that I am protected, like now, I know what can happen. I've solved the problem and my therapist said that's great, that's a good story. Let's try not to do that. So I, for one week, she said let's see what your life is like if you don't do that and I honestly don't do it at all anymore. It's been five, six years now and I was so hot. It takes such a weight the guilt the pressure.
Speaker 1:So I'm so glad you brought that up, because that's now going to be a snippet in and of itself is just going to be like hey guys, do this, because if you challenge yourself for a week and a half or two to do it, eventually you'll just stop because I realize one how often you're doing it. But to have useless like we almost feel like we need to say I should, but we really don't. And I have to say I got to tell you this I wish I could take credit for the name. I, the name that I had for this podcast was actually shit.
Speaker 1:I had a community at the time. I was running a group coaching community and my community was like yeah, no, that's not happening. And then they said just wait. And then Jessica Hopkins she was the one who named the podcast she said you need to change your podcast. This is the name and I get, you're right, this is the name. So I always messaged her when someone says they like the name to be like hey, someone said they like the name today, so she gets a lot of those. So I messaged her today to tell her.
Speaker 2:So thank you so much Good job and people like to get good feedback.
Speaker 1:I know right, exactly. Thank you so much. You are the best, thank you for having me. All of your social and Alma are remodeling will all be in the show.
Speaker 2:Great. Thank you so much. It's been a wonderful time have talking to you and I will talk to you again soon.
Speaker 1:Oh, could it be that's necessary. Thank you.
